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Post by juncojunky on Sept 22, 2006 22:54:00 GMT 1
Ouch! Bullets can't penetrate the skin of the Junky One!
Pulp Fiction, great movie..I actually watched that a couple days ago, I could go for some more of those in the TNT Discussion thread ;D
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Post by brockandsable on Sept 22, 2006 22:59:10 GMT 1
REPOST - New page *****TNT PPV Spoof***** Starring: Trent Acid Aladdin Reece Somers JuncoJunky Scene opens up in a small studio apartment where we see Trent Acid dressed in a black suit and tie, sporting a big curly afro like Jules Vincent. In the kitchen area, Aladdin stands with a semi-automatic gun in his hand. He too is sporting a black suit and tie, but his hair is slicked back in the likeness of Vincent Vega. Seated on a chair at a small dinner table with a bag of fast food in front of him, Reece Somers, looking as if he's about to shit himself. JuncoJunky is lying, stomach up, on a couch that is adjacent to Trent.REECE
(to Trent) Look, what's your name? I got his name, it's Aladdin, but what's yours?
TRENT My name's Pitt, and you ain't talkin' your ass outta this shit.
REECE I just want you to know how sorry we are about how fucked up things got between us and Mr. Edwards. When we entered into this thing, we only had the best intentions --
As REECE talks, Trent takes out his gun and SHOOTS JuncoJunky three times in the chest, BLOWING him off his couch. Aladdin smiles to himself. Trent has got style. Reece has just shit his pants. He's not crying or whimpering, but he's so full of fear, it's as if his body is imploding.
TRENT
(to REECE) Oh, I'm sorry. Did that break your concentration? I didn't mean to do that. Please, continue. I believe you were saying something about "best intentions."
REECE can't say a word.
TRENT Whatsamatter? Oh, you were finished?. Well, let me retort. Would you describe for me what Elijah Edwards looks like?
REECE still can't speak.
Trent SNAPS, SAVAGELY TIPPING the dinner table over, removing the only barrier between himself and REECE. REECE now sits in a lone chair before Trent like a political prisoner in front of an interrogator.
TRENT What country you from!?
REECE (petrified) What?
TRENT "What" ain't no country I know! Do they speak English in "What?"
REECE (near heart attack) What?
TRENT English-motherfucker-can-you-speak- it?
REECE Yes.
TRENT Then you understand what I'm sayin'?
REECE Yes.
TRENT Now describe what Elijah Edwards looks like!
REECE (out of fear) What?
Trent takes his .45 and PRESSES the barrel HARD in Reece's cheek.
TRENT Say "What" again! C'mon, say "What" again! I dare ya, I double dare ya motherfucker, say "What" one more goddamn time!
Reece is regressing on the spot.
TRENT Now describe to me what Marsellus Wallace looks like!
REECE Well he's ...he's...black --
TRENT -- go on!
REECE ...and he's...he's...tall --
TRENT -- does he look like a bitch?!
REECE (without thinking) What?
Trent's eyes go to Aladdin; Aladdin smirks, Trent rolls his eyes and slaps REECE in the face with the butt of the gun.
TRENT DOES HE LOOK LIKE A BITCH!!??
REECE (in agony) No!
TRENT Then why did you try to fuck 'im like one?!
REECE (in spasm) I didn't.
TRENT Yes ya did Reece. Yes, ya did. You ever read the Bible, Reece?
REECE (in spasm) Yes.
TRENT There's a passage I got memorized, seems appropriate for this situation: Ezekiel 25:17. "The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee."
REECE NO! Trent pulls the trigger, but instead of gunfire, water comes out of the gun. Reece shits himself as Trent and Aladdin begin laughing to tears.TRENT We won't kill you man, we're just here to remind you that the next TNT PPV is just around the corner, so don't miss out.
Aladdin throws Reece a towel, and Trent throws him a roll of toilet paper. JuncoJunky gets up laughing as he is not really dead at all. The joke is on Reece at moment, but the three others quickly stop laughing anfd head for the hills as the overwhelming smell of fresh human feces is getting the best of them. [/color]
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Post by Aladdin on Sept 22, 2006 23:11:52 GMT 1
Good shit, man. Good shit.
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Post by juncojunky on Sept 23, 2006 1:26:14 GMT 1
Next Up: TNT Goes Team America! [Of course with a few final adjustments with Aladdin in the cast...]
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Post by brockandsable on Sept 24, 2006 20:03:24 GMT 1
*****Team America Spoof***** [/b][/center] Scene opens in a restaurant/nightclub where we see all kinds of shady people enjoying their drinks, some belly dancers, and two Arab looking gents who look as if they are up to no good. They are sporting turbans and gowns, and have beared big enough to hide some weapons of mass destruction. Enter JuncoJunky. A white guy dressed like an arab man with a fake beard and mud smeared all over his face like a blackface minstrel. Junco approaches the two sandniggers for conversation.Sandnigger 1 "We are Bashir rebels from the country of Somalia. Who are you?"
Junco "My name is Hakmed. I'm a terrorist. Anybody know of any terrorist attacks coming up soon?"
Suddenly, the music in the room stops, and two other sandniggers approach Junco. Aladdin and Vegeta, all dressed in turbans and sporting big black beards, approach Junco and take him to another room. In that room, Micko is waiting. Something happened to Micko though, because his skin is now brown and he looks like Osama. Only heftier.
Micko "What do you know?"
Junco "I heard there might be a large terrorist attack. If you tell me what it is, maybe I could help out."
Micko "Get out of here. We have put out a jihad on the infides, because they destroyed our lives. What do you know about pain and sadness?"
The camera begins to zeroin on Junco, who is hearing voices in his head saying "Junco! Junco! help me!!!!! Get him off! Get this thing off me, Junco!!!!
Junco "I was just a boy when the infidels came to my village, in their Black Hawk helicopters."
Micko, Aladdin and Vegeta are all listening to Junco with attentive ears.
Junco "The infidels fired at the oil fields and they lit up like the eyes of Allah. Burning oil rained down from the sky and cooked everything it touched."
Tears begin to form in Vegeta's eyes.
Junco "I could only hide myself and cry as my goats were consumed by the fiery, black liquid death."
Aladdin's eyes become watery
Junco "In the midst of the chaos, I could swear that I heard my goats screaming for help."
Micko is crying now as well.
Junco "As quickly as they had come, the infidels were gone."
All three of the sandniggers are sobbing profusely.
Junco "It was on that day I put a jihad on them.
And if you don't believe it, then you better kill me now,
because I'll put a jihad on you too!"
Micko "I like you. You have balls.
I like balls."
Junco "Good. Because they be plenty off ball-busting at the next TNT PPV. Three titles will be up for grabs and most of all, we'll toppel the B-show once and for all!"
All of them "TNT---fuck yeah!! On your tv to save the muthafuckin' day."
All fo them "TNT---fuck yeah!! On your tv to save the muthafuckin' day."
All of the sandniggers begin to dance. Aladdin pulls a spliff out of his pocket and lights it up. Micko has some vodka. JuncoJunky pulls out a picture of Stare and tapes it to the opposite wall. Then finally, Vegeta pulls out some darts.
CLOSE UP on the picture of Stare, with the darts nailing the eyes, nose and forehead. FUCK YEAH!!!
FADE TO BLACK
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Post by Aladdin on Sept 24, 2006 21:44:27 GMT 1
Why am i not the main sand nigga?!
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Post by juncojunky on Sept 25, 2006 2:35:23 GMT 1
Haha...
Picturing Scott Hall as the hired actor of Team America makes me laugh ;D
Power to the sandniggers
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Post by stocko on Sept 26, 2006 15:33:05 GMT 1
Why am i not the main sand nigga?! i am the boss, therefore i am the main sandnigger! you are lucky i let you out of your mudhut sandnigger #2
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Post by _the j-man on Sept 26, 2006 23:56:57 GMT 1
Alright, gentlemen. Here's the latest update and it's true. The show will be up in 24 hours or less, I have all the matches now. I'm just writing segments that make sense right now, as you know quite a few people have left the TNT roster. So I had to change the PPV card up. Which looks like it'll have only 4 matches. I have some things planned and also I will make sure to get the Preview out the same day. Sorry for taking so long and thank you for your paitence. ;D
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Post by juncojunky on Sept 27, 2006 0:45:45 GMT 1
If you need any help J, give me a holler..I'd be more than happy to cover any last minute details and the last shabang. Goodluck!
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Post by brockandsable on Sept 29, 2006 18:55:02 GMT 1
TNT rankings and records need to be updated.
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Post by brockandsable on Sept 29, 2006 20:21:36 GMT 1
*****TNT's Revenge of the Sith Spoof*****
Starring Supreme Chancellor Mastadon Jedi Master E-2 Jedi Apprentice JuncoJunky Master Williams Master Ninja Master Somers
FADE UP FROM BLACK where we see E-2, accompanied by Keith Williams, Red Ninja, and Reece Somers. All are wearing their Jedi robes and are walking side by side, like cowboys from the Old West. Keith has an unusually large cowboy hat on while Red Ninja sports his mask. They have come to arrest the Chancellor.
MASTADON Master E-2. I take it General Rocky has been destroyed then. I must say, you're here sooner than expected.
E-2 In the name of the P2PW of the Republic, you are under arrest, Chancellor.
The Jedi ignite their lightsabers. E2's saber blade is magenta, Keith is sporting a green bladed sword, while Reece and Ninja have blue lightsabers. [/i] MASTADON Are you threatening me, Master Jedi? E-2 The P2PW will decide your fate. MASTADON (burst of anger) I am the P2PW!!! E-2 Not yet! MASTADON It's treason, then. MASTADON stands up, a lightsaber hilt appears out of his cloak sleeve. In what seems like one swift motion, MASTADON ignites his[/color] red bladed saber, jumps in the air and spins toward the JEDI. A close shot of MASTADON as the fight begins. Close shots of THREE JEDI getting cut down by MASTADON and Keith loses his hat. MASTADON and E-2continue to fight, their swords creating a red/purple blur in the office.
Jedi Master E-2 and the Sith Lord fight their way down the hallway and into the main office area. MASTADON is able to use the Force to slam E-2 against the wall, but he recovers before the Chancellor can cut him down.
CUT TO THE PARKING LOT where JuncoJunky lands his speeder, jumps out, and runs down a long corridor toward the Chancellor's office.
In the heat of battle, E-2 cuts the window behind the Chancellor's desk, and it crashes away. E-2 is forced out onto the ledge, which is twenty stories up. They fight over the precipice. They stop as E-2 forces MASTADON to drop his sword. JuncoJunky arrives to see MASTADON on his back with E-2's saber pointed at the Chancellor's nose.[/i] E-2 You are under arrest, My Lord. MASTADON Junco! I told you it would come to this. I was right. The babyfaces are taking over. E-2 You old fool. The oppression of the heels will never return. Your plot to regain control of the p2pw is over . . . you have lost . . . MASTADON No! No! You will die! MASATDON raises his hands, and[/color] blue lightning bolts shoot out. They are blocked by E-2's lightsaber. MASTADON is pushed back against the window sill.[/i] MASTADON He is a traitor, Junco! E-2 He's the traitor. Stop him! MASTADON Come to your senses, boy. The faces are in revolt. They will betray you, just as they betrayed me. Don't let him kill me. I am your pathway to power. I have the power to someday make you World Champion!!! E-2 Don't listen to him, Junco! MASTADON Help me! Don't let him kill me. I can't hold on any longer. Ahhhhhhh . . . ahhhhhhh . . . ahhhhhhh . . . E-2 pushes forward and ss the Jedi moves closer, the bolts from Mastadon's hands begin to arch back on him. The Chancellor's face begins to twist and distort. His eyes become yellow as he struggles to intensify his powers. PALPATINE: I can't ... I give up. Help me. I am weak ... I am too weak. Don't kill me. I give up. I'm dying. I can't hold on any longer. The lightning stops. E-2 You Sith disease. I am going to end this once and for all. JuncoJunky You can't kill him, Master. He must stand trial. E-2 He has too much control of the p2pw and he is too dangerous to be kept alive. MASTADON I'm too weak. Don't kill me. Please. JUNCOJUNKY It is not the babyface way . . . E-2 raises his sword to kill the CHANCELLOR. JUNCOJUNKY (continuing) He must live . . . MASTADON Please don't, please don't . . . JUNCOJUNKY: I need him . . . MASTADON Please don't . . . JUNCOJUNKY NO!!! Just as E-2 is about to slashMASTADON in half, JUNCOJUNKY steps in and cuts off the Jedi's hand holding the lightsaber. A wooden black hand, like Carl Weathers in HAPPY GILMORE, falls to the floor. ;D
As E-2 screams in pain and stares at JuncoJunky in shock, MASTADON springs to life. The full force of Mastadon's powerful bolts blasts E-2, frying him like some eggs. MASTADON Power! Unlimited power! He attempts to deflect them with his one good hand, but the force is too great. As blue rays engulf his body, he is flung out the window and falls twenty stories to his death. No more screams. No more moans. Mastadon lowers his arm.
His face has changed into a horrible mask of evil. JUNCO looks on in horror. MASTADON cackles.JUNCOJUNKY What have I done? MASTADON You are fulfilling your destiny, Junco. Now I must let you in on a vey well kept secret. A secret so mysterious that not even E-2 knew. JUNCOJUNKY What's that? MASTADON I just saved a bunch of money on car insurance by switching to Geico!!!! FADE TO BLACK[/color][/center] (c) 2006 All rights reserved. Any similarities between the actors and people in real life is purely coincidental.
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Post by Trent Matsunoshin on Sept 29, 2006 21:06:20 GMT 1
Those were gold man, gold.
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Post by _the j-man on Sept 29, 2006 23:57:56 GMT 1
Quick question. The card for this TNT is really good, shall we just use this as the last show before the Pay-Per-View, PAYBACK? Or would people want one more TNT after this TNT Special?
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Post by Trent Matsunoshin on Sept 29, 2006 23:58:59 GMT 1
I say.....
don't matter really.
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Post by juncojunky on Sept 30, 2006 0:06:07 GMT 1
I say more cards the better...but that depends more on the writers
which reminds me, I'd be happy to help write this week..I use to write matches back in the day (well...a couple months ago) and I'd love to pick it up again
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Post by brockandsable on Sept 30, 2006 0:47:21 GMT 1
^You're a hell of a writer. Check your PM's Junky One..... Quick question. The card for this TNT is really good, shall we just use this as the last show before the Pay-Per-View, PAYBACK? Or would people want one more TNT after this TNT Special? I think it may be a good way to head into the PPV. But the decision is ultimately yours, boss.
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Post by juncojunky on Sept 30, 2006 6:38:59 GMT 1
A little of topic, but hey...this is TNT Discussion..
---I went a little deeper off camera in the TNT Special: Unsanctioned Saturday Promo, and was hoping I could get some basic feedback..I took it in a much different path, and actually ended up making it a bit more ... unique
Yea, I know I'm an impatient stickler for feedback, but if someone's bored and not on staff and would like to share some words I'd be happy to listen
EDIT: I gotcha ;D
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Post by _the j-man on Sept 30, 2006 6:51:52 GMT 1
^You're a hell of a writer. Check your PM's Junky One..... Quick question. The card for this TNT is really good, shall we just use this as the last show before the Pay-Per-View, PAYBACK? Or would people want one more TNT after this TNT Special? I think it may be a good way to head into the PPV. But the decision is ultimately yours, boss. I think we should go into the PPV after this card. Makes more sense to me and I don't think we really need another show. I do have to make the preview for the PPV though.
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Post by brockandsable on Oct 1, 2006 19:29:00 GMT 1
We're getting killed here in the voting, Al. We'll have to kick it up three levels. I figured allowing the Blitz! roster to vote would be a good thing. Stare will always vote against me no matter what (probably spite) and same with Reaper. But some of those are rather suprising. Should be interesting to see how this plays out.
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Post by Stare on Oct 2, 2006 3:57:08 GMT 1
If Iv'e said it once, I've said it a million times. I'm a Red Ninja mark, and Reece is also pretty awesome.
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Post by Reaper on Oct 2, 2006 6:03:03 GMT 1
Thats funny, I was contemplating voting for E2 until he ran his mouth. He did the same thing when he lost his womens championship... but I had already scored his promo. Asshat.
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Post by brockandsable on Oct 3, 2006 18:27:38 GMT 1
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Post by Cactus on Oct 5, 2006 17:06:20 GMT 1
*changes channel*
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Post by brockandsable on Oct 6, 2006 19:34:34 GMT 1
New York City has been the center of attention, both positive and negative. Stars have been made and hearts have been broken. On Saturday Night, another notch will be added to that belt…… "(S)HE" will be there. And this unprecedented appearance is going to rock the P2PW, forever. "The Soundoff" will be the place......
Former Blitz! Champion Soundscream will be your host.....
And then the unexpected surprise of a lifetime.....
”Unsanctioned Saturday” [/b][/color][/size] Only on…..[/center]
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