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Post by Stare on Jul 13, 2005 5:24:31 GMT 1
We are backstage where we see Chad Classic walking down the hallway. He looks very upset as he rounds a corner, pacing very fast. He stops at an office labeled "Shinn's Theory" as he knocks. Shinns opens up the door, eating a bowl of noodles as Chad stands there just staring at him. Chad gazes at Shinns as Shinns swallows and just stares back at Chad. Both men are locked in a gaze as Shinns nods and sits his bowl down.Shinns: Did you just want to eye me up and down like a sixteen year-old schoolgirl, or do you need something? Chad: You know damn well what I need! I need to know why I'm hearing rumors that Deathrow are going to get a title shot against MVP-Don & Trent Acid. I have unsettled business with all of D-Unit. Now, I've taken out D Squat . . . Shinns interrupts ChadShinns: . . . Along with Red Ninja. Chad glares up at Shinns, but ignored the commentChad: . . . and I want my chance to embarrass MVP-Don! Now, I ask you to reconsider Deathrow and place me there! Shinns: And who would your partner be? Chad thinks for a moment, but shakes his head and answersChad: I'll find someone! Look, just think about it? Shinns: Chad, I can't take Deathrow out of the match. It's no rumor, that match has been announced. Chad shakes his head in disappointment, and begins to turn around to leave, but Shinns puts his hand upShinns: However, I have been thinking about making the Tag Team Title Match a triple threat. But, the #1 team in the running is Starcrunch & Chilly Willy. Chad: Starcrunch & Chi . . . but they lost last week!? Shinns: Well, any tag team that holds a win would technically be #1 contender for that third spot, so if you can find a partner tonight, and if you and that person can defeat Starcrunch & Chilly Willy tonight, then that would make you guys the #1 contenders. Chad: So . . . ? Shinns: So, I'll go ahead and book the match. I just hope you can find someone, cause if not, you'll be facing them in a handicap match. Chad nods and walks out of the locker room. Once out there, he here's a voice almost immediately as he shuts the doorVoice: I hear you need a tag team partner? Chad stops and turns around as the camera pans up to see "The Assassin" Tyler StoneAssassin: If you wanna win, look no further. Chad Classic shakes his head and begins to walk away. He stops and looks back to see The Assassin smiling. Chad turns back around and shakes his head and looks up at the opposite directionChad: You better be there . . . Chad walks away as The Assassin nods with a smiles as he walks off the other way as Blitz! begins to start----------------------------------------------- Blitz! starts as "Watching You Die" hits as fireworks ignite. The capacity crowd can be seen:The arena is scoped as the music cuts and "Don't You Wish You Were Me" hits as Simz walks out to a loud booing reception. He cockily smiles and treks towards the ring. He gets in the ring and is presented a micSimz: So, last week, you people saw a side of me that you'd probably never seen? The crowd lightly boo as Simz smilesSimz: I would apologize, but I really could care less. You see, I've made a name for myself by ending careers before they even gets started. They call me . . . The Noob Killer! the crowd boos loudly as Simz laughsSimz: And, last week, when I attacked J-man, it was simply a wake-up call that I meant to deliver a month ago. You see, he keeps flapping his gums about how he is going to go somewhere once given the chance . . . Simz looks into the cameraSimz: Well, my friends, you're not going to get that chance . . . CAUSE YOU'RE A BLACK MAN! Simz laughs as the crowd laughs a little with himSimz: But . . . the thought occurred to me, why wait ‘til Fever? Why put off the lesson a second longer. So, J-man . . . get out here so I can whip that black ass! Noob Killer-style! Simz drops the mic and paces awaiting _the j-man as "Ain't Nothing But a G-Thang" hits as the crowd looks on as J.T. Blade strolls out. He walks down the isle, looking around the arena with awe as he smiles and slides into the ring, with a mic in handSimz: What? Why? No No! Who in the Hell are you? Blade: . . . I'm a noob! J.T. smacks the taste out of Simz's mouth as the bell is rang as this match has apparently just been signedSINGLES MATCH Simz vs. J.T. Blade Blade continues the surprise attack and chops away at Simz. He back him into the corner as he climbs up to the middle rope, towering over Simz, and begins to punch away. The crowd counts along, and Blade reaches 7 before Simz double-legs him and falls back, whip-lashing Blade's neck on the top turnbuckle. Blade is dazed as Simz rolls outside to regroup. *COMMERCIAL* --------------------------------------------------------- Simz may have bitten off more than he can chew by dubbing himself the Noob Killer, as newcomer J.T. Blade looks to gain a victory in his second match in the P2PW. The match was quickly scheduled, moments before Blade walked out, as a commercial time was scheduled as we went to break. Who will prevail in this match-up?
Also, it appears the last slot available for the Tag Title Match at WrestleFever will be filled tonight on Blitz! Will the new tag team sensation, Chilly Willy & Starcrunch prevail? Or will ChadClassic continue on his road to gaining retribution on D-Unit? Can he trust The Assassin?
Soundscream will be defending his title tonight. Word has it that he was reluctant, since Soul Reaper was scheduled to be in the arena. But, by order's of Shinn's Theory & Rocky, Soul Reaper will not be in attendance tonight. Soundscream will defend against the man who has created a internet show to rival his. Which show's host will be smiling on the next segment of his show, Soundscream? Or Joe "The Executioner" Bellegham? It's the Sound Off against the Chopping Block
Also, we hope to find out who it was that attacked Nation. Stare & Shinn's Theory have both been closely surveying the tape and been keeping in close contact with The Media Staff for the P2PW. If an answer has been found, you'll know by the end of the night!
All this and more on Blitz![/b] --------------------------------------------------------- TONIGHT'S MATCHES
SINGLES MATCH Simz vs. J.T. Blade
INTERNATIONAL TITLE MATCH Soundscream vs. Joe "The Executioner" Bellegham
TAG MATCH Winner is in the Triple Threat Match at WrestleFever for the Tag Titles Starcrunch & "The Ladies Man" Chilly Willy vs. Chad Classic & Tyler "The Assassin" Stone [/b][/center] ---------------------------------------------------------- DEADLINE: July 18th, 7p.m.(EST)[/color][/b]
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Post by Stare on Jul 13, 2005 5:39:25 GMT 1
Simz Soundscream Classic & Stone EDIT: the ring graphic you see was made by Soul Reaper. All bow to the FORMER World champ
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Post by Drow on Jul 13, 2005 5:55:14 GMT 1
My Votes: Promo to follow soon.
J.T. Blade SoundScream Chad Classic and The Assassin
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Post by _the j-man on Jul 13, 2005 7:51:52 GMT 1
J.T. Blade SoundScream StarCrunch & Chilly Willy
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Post by lockjaw on Jul 13, 2005 8:02:24 GMT 1
Blade Joe Belleghem Starcrunch n chilly willy
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Post by Faster Pussycat! on Jul 13, 2005 8:41:38 GMT 1
Blade Scream Chad and partner, It shoulda been me, *kicks dirt*
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Post by lockjaw on Jul 13, 2005 8:45:55 GMT 1
The zeroing displays a dark gloomy Dungeon.Various Torture machines are on display.The Executioner appears wearing a Black Executioner's mask,black tights that show skulls on the side,black boots.Joe looks to be more focused and as he speaks the room begins to grow brighter.
Joe Belleghem:So tonight I have a shot at the International title. Soundscream your a tremendous wrestler I mean look at all the things you have done. You beat my friend Cactus for the International title.
You have a very successful show in the sound off. You run Superstar Sunday. But you time has come death calls for you and i am it's messenger. You maybe the favorite in this match and so of course your confidence is up. But thats how i want you to be because you will under estimate me and make mistakes and then you shall fall.
Joe walks over to a machine that looks like a casket with sharp spikes on the inside.
Joe Belleghem:You know what this is Soundscream? This is an iron maiden. The victim was placed inside and the iron maiden was closed. The victim was then made into a human pin cushion and quickly executed. Be prepared soundscream for your time has come tonight you are to be executed. I will be your executioner. There will be a new International champion crowned and then you will be destroyed not by the loss but by the fact you were beaten by the man no one thought had a fighting chance.
Joe Belleghem walks over to another torture artifact.
Joe Belleghem:This is another of my favorite things Soundscream its called the guillotine the victim was made to kneel and place their neck inside and the the executioner pulled the level and the blade was released taking the head off the victim. your confidence will be your destruction.I will take your over confident mind and shatter it leaving you empty and cold like the corpse that your mind will become.
Joe makes a Bone chilling laugh
Joe Belleghem:I bet your in the back pissing your pants.Watching everything i do will a blood curling realization that you are going to face death. You shouldn't worry about Soul Reaper that would be a deadly mistake one you would regret. You have enough on your plate against me. You made a fatal error ditching Soul Reaper he is going to get you if not in the arena then whats stopping him from getting you outside. I can smell your fear and imagine your face with the terrified expression on your ugly mug.
Joe Belleghem walks over to a nearby wash basin.He pulls out a picture of soundscream.
Joe Belleghem:Here is a last look at you with the belt take a minute to gaze on it because it's the last time you will ever see it around your waist. your title reign is about to go up in flames.Just like this picture!
Joe Belleghem takes out a lighter and lights the picture aflame.After a few moments the picture is turned to ash.
Joe Belleghem:This is what i will leave your pride a pile of ashes. Your reign is about to end so get ready for the grand finally because the play known as your title reign is about to be brought to an end and my time shall begin its its wake be prepared for death waits so no one and you will face your justified and quick...
[glow=red,2,300]Execution!!![/glow] The zeroin fades to black as Joe Belleghem is heard walking out of the dungeon leaving all doubt of his focus behind.
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Post by stocko on Jul 13, 2005 12:55:01 GMT 1
SINGLES MATCH Simz
INTERNATIONAL TITLE MATCH Soundscream
TAG MATCH Winner is in the Triple Threat Match at WrestleFever for the Tag Titles Starcrunch & "The Ladies Man" Chilly Willy
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Post by Scream on Jul 13, 2005 14:31:39 GMT 1
[glow=red,2,300]The Zerion opens to the inside of a grocery store. SoundScream is peeking his head down the aisles apparently looking for someone.[/glow] SoundScreamHmm, I could have swore I saw him duck in here. Store ManagerCan I help you sir. SoundScreamMaybe you can. You see I'm looking for a guy named The Dragon...well you see he used to be the dragon, not a real dragon but now he's an executioner. The managers eyes bulge as he slowly backs away.SoundScreamJoe Bellegham! That's it Joey B. Store ManagerDid you say Joe Bellegham? SoundScreamYeah, The Drag...I mean Executioner. The manager lets out a hardy laughStore ManagerThe Executioner! Manager bends over with laughter No don't get me wrong Joey was a hell of a worker, but an ex-ex---executioner he was not. Follow me. SoundScream and the manager walk to the back. On the wall there are pictures of fellow employees. The manager points to a picture on the wall. It says Joey B. Employee of the month.SoundScreamThat's The Executioner! SoundScream puts his hand on the managers shoulder as they both continue to laughManagerHaha, What a name, the executioner. He, he....he couldn't even chop carrots! The manager bends over howling in laughter as the Zerion fades and brings us to the ring. SoundScream is standing in the ring laughing. SoundScreamOh, Joey you're killing me. Hang on, can we see that picture on more time. The crowd begins to howlSoundScreamwipes his eyesOk, no more joking around. So, Joe B, "The Executioner." How fitting that I have to fight an executioner before I fight the devil himself. I mean throw in a cowboy and a cop and I will have fought all the village people. Now back to business. I'll admit it Joe, you have made quite a name for yourself in your short tenure here, you even have your own show, "The Chopping Block." crowd boos But what will really make a name for yourself is the beating you will receive at the hands of SOUNDSCREAM. Let my record speak for itself. I defeated the "killer" of P2PW to become the International Champion. A month before that I was one of the final three in a grueling Elimintaion Chamber match. I have caused more anguish than you can ever imagine. So let it be known that you will be just another victim on my path to Soul Reaper. So bring your toys my man. Bring your iron maiden, your guillotine, whatever it is you swing, cause come Blitz you're just another victim. SoundScream spikes the mic and is about to exit the ring when bell tolls are heard. The Zerion sparkles and a vile voice says "Scream" followed by a demonic laugh. SoundScream throws his suit jacket to the ground and motions for Soul Reaper to come and fight. As he stays focused on the Zerion Joe. B slides in the ring from behind and smashes SoundScream in the head with a blunt weapon. He then raises the weary SoundScream and delivers "The Exectution" a powerful DDT. Joe stands over SoundScream and grabs the micJoe. BMake fun of me all you want bitch. Come Blitz not only will I take your title. Joe looks at crowd and then rubs his thumb across his throatBut I'm going to chop your damn head off. [glow=red,2,300]Joe begins to laugh as he pretends to guillotine Scream's head off. He then stands over the fallen SoundScream and poses before exiting.[/glow]
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Post by Scream on Jul 13, 2005 14:32:25 GMT 1
SINGLES MATCH Simz
INTERNATIONAL TITLE MATCH Soundscream
TAG MATCH Winner is in the Triple Threat Match at WrestleFever for the Tag Titles
Chad Classic & Tyler "The Assassin" Stone
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Post by brockandsable on Jul 13, 2005 14:51:29 GMT 1
SIMZ Soundscream ChadClassic and that other guy
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Post by shinnstheory on Jul 13, 2005 15:01:48 GMT 1
Blade: . . . I'm a noob! J.T. smacks the taste out of Simz's mouth as the bell is rang as this match has apparently just been signedSINGLES MATCH Simz vs. Joe "Eye of the Dragon" Bellegham Blade continues the surprise attack and chops away at Simz. He back him into the corner as he climbs up to the middle rope, towering over Simz, and begins to punch away. Heheh... I got yo' back. Modified. ------------------------------ Votes: Simz (Feel he needs a win going into Fever billed as the N00b Killer) SoundScream (Just for laying out Reaper) Starcrunch & Cilly Willy (Tough call)
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Post by LK on Jul 13, 2005 15:34:32 GMT 1
Blademaster
Soundscream
Starcrunch & Chilly Willy
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Post by ChadClassic on Jul 13, 2005 16:38:20 GMT 1
Oh you bastards...
JT Blade SoundScream ChadClassic and Tyler Stone
Promo to come tomorrow...
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Post by "Black Label" Sean Patterson on Jul 13, 2005 17:26:33 GMT 1
J.T. Blade
INTERNATIONAL TITLE MATCH Soundscream
TAG MATCH Winner is in the Triple Threat Match at WrestleFever for the Tag Titles Chad Classic & Tyler "The Assassin" Stone
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Post by McKenna on Jul 13, 2005 23:07:03 GMT 1
TONIGHT'S MATCHES
SINGLES MATCH Simz
INTERNATIONAL TITLE MATCH Soundscream
TAG MATCH Winner is in the Triple Threat Match at WrestleFever for the Tag Titles Chad Classic & Tyler "The Assassin" Stone
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Red Ninja
Full-Time
Mr. Underrated
El Ninja Del Rojo
Posts: 487
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Post by Red Ninja on Jul 13, 2005 23:59:51 GMT 1
Simz
Soundscream
Chad and Tyler
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Post by Trent Matsunoshin on Jul 14, 2005 3:21:39 GMT 1
TONIGHT'S MATCHES
SINGLES MATCH J.T. Blade
INTERNATIONAL TITLE MATCH Soundscream
TAG MATCH Winner is in the Triple Threat Match at WrestleFever for the Tag Titles Chad Classic & Tyler "The Assassin" Stone (storyline vote)
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Post by Cactus on Jul 14, 2005 10:20:42 GMT 1
JT
Dragon ( whatever )
Crunch & Chilly
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Post by Reaper on Jul 14, 2005 17:30:40 GMT 1
SINGLES MATCH J.T. Blade
INTERNATIONAL TITLE MATCH Soundscream
TAG MATCH Winner is in the Triple Threat Match at WrestleFever for the Tag Titles Chad Classic & Tyler "The Assassin" Stone
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Post by Hercules on Jul 16, 2005 1:46:33 GMT 1
SIMZ executioner Chad & tyler
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Post by Spackle on Jul 16, 2005 3:20:23 GMT 1
Blade Scream Chad and Tyler, It shoulda been NIN, *kicks dirt*
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Post by Nation on Jul 16, 2005 11:23:53 GMT 1
TONIGHT'S MATCHES
SINGLES MATCH Simz vs. J.T. Blade (SIMZ)
INTERNATIONAL TITLE MATCH Soundscream vs. Joe "The Executioner" Bellegham (SOUNDSCREAM)
TAG MATCH Winner is in the Triple Threat Match at WrestleFever for the Tag Titles Starcrunch & "The Ladies Man" Chilly Willy vs. Chad Classic & Tyler "The Assassin" Stone (DOUBLE C AND T.S.)
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Post by ChadClassic on Jul 17, 2005 18:58:51 GMT 1
The usual green screen previewing a movie appears up on the titan tron. Yes, you all know what it is. Its time for yet another "Classical Masterpiece Movie Spoof." This weeks spoof is that of a funny 1980's movie... Weekend at Bernie's. Prepare for....
WEEKEND AT CRUNCHIES [/u][/center][/color] =========================================================
We zoom around the busy streets of New York City as people pass by. Some are running across streets in suits with briefcases, others are honking horns in their cars, trucks, taxi's, etc. trying to get where they gotta go. Others are walking along the sidewalk. And the rest are entering and leaving buildings like MTV, ABC, Red Lobster, Blockbuster, Starbucks, and other stores. The camera shows Tyler Stone walking fast in a pink shirt with gray pants and matching suspenders with a red and black tie on. His hair is greased back as he holds the Wallstreet Journal under his arm. You clearly see sweat dripping from his face from all the blazing heat in NYC. A briefcase dangles from his hand.
Tyler Stone: Damnit I can't take this heat!
Rushing behind him is ChadClassic. Chad, the charismatic nigga he is, has on a white shirt with some gray pants and no tie. In his hand is a briefcase that is nearly opening and is about to drop all of his papers. He cups the briefcase under his arm as he rushes as fast as he can towards Stone.
ChadClassic: Ty... Tyler!
Tyler Stone [rolling his eyes]: Yes Chad...
ChadClassic: Man, ya not gonna believe this. I just found out that the P2PW Stock is rising up fast. If we can grab ahold of it, we could be millionaires! Dude man, imagine if we could get ahold of this stock. We could pay off the P2PW Higher-ups, and we'll be main eventing in no time!
Tyler Stone: Chad, this is the seventh time you've come to me this week, telling me about P2PW's stock rising, only to find it drop bad. The only reason you and me took this job at Martin, Martin, and Stevens is because we're underpaid P2PW wrestlers.
ChadClassic: Wrestlers... you said were underpaid P2PW Wrestlers! Last week, you said we were underpaid, underused, P2PW Jobbers!
Tyler rolls his eyes and continues down the street. Both enter a tall white building with rotating doors.
Tyler Stone: Okay, so when I go into Mrs. Crunch's office, I need you to keep your mouth shut and let me do all the talking, to me...
Tyler pauses fast. He sees a fine honey walk past him. This honey is FOINNNE. Long blonde hair, tight white mini skirt and a flower blouse. Tyler's jaw drops. Chad licks his lips. Tyler slaps him.
Tyler Stone: Lay off, I saw that pussy first.
Tyler walks up to her, but she gets on the elevator. Tyler waves Chad on, and both head towards the elevator, but a huge group of people are trying to get in too. They finally get in and the door closes. Its jam packed. Like Star Jone's toes in a pair of high heels. Tyler licks his lips and stares at the woman's nice long blonde hair.
ChadClassic: Just talk to her mang.
Tyler Stone: I can't. I'm scared of what she'll say to me.
ChadClassic: Mang, ya such a pussy...
Chad taps the girl on the shoulder. She turns behind her, but Tyler moves to her other side. She moves to the side next to her, but Tyler goes to the other side. The elevator makes the "Boop" noise, signaling that they have arrived. The door slides open and everyone begins to file out. Tyler gets angry that he didn't make his move, and Chad just puts his hand on his head and shakes it. They empty out of the elevator as Chad and Tyler go into the mini-office of StarCrunch's secretary, Soul Reaper.
ChadClassic: Ay, we wanna meet Crunch right now!
Tyler Stone: Chad, Chad, Chad, calm down man... WE WANNA MEET STARCRUNCH RIGHT NOW OR ELSE WERE GONNA GAT-PUNK YOU SUCKA!!!
Chad makes a confused look on his face. Tyler clears his throat and just nods. Reaper finishes typing on the computer before looking up at the two of them.
Soul Reaper: Listen you two punks. StarCrunch is a VERY busy woman. She does not have time for two idiots like yourself to be bombarding her with...
StarCrunch walks in. Reaper clears his throat and stops talking. Tyler and Chad gigle under their breath.
StarCrunch: Hello Gentlemen.
Tyler & Chad: Hi Crunch.
Soul Reaper: Miss. Crunch, these two wanted to have a meeting with you for some thing that I don't know about.
StarCrunch [checking her watch]: Hmmm... fine. I have 10 minutes, follow me gentlemen.
Crunch walks into her office. Tyler follows her. Chad points, laughs, and makes faces at Reaper, who just snarls and gets back to typing. Both men enter the room and sit down on the chairs in front of Crunch's desk. Crunch sits in her big comfy boss chair as she grabs a pencil and begins to write.
Tyler Stone: May I ask what your writing?
StarCrunch: Your paychecks for this week. I feel bad for both of your positions at P2PW, so I'll give you a $5 raise.
ChadClassic: Sweet.
Tyler Stone: Not sweet! The only reason we came in here Crunch is because wanna comprimise with you. Okay, we are tired of jobbing all the time in P2PW, so we figured it would help business if we just came to you and requested a match change.
StarCrunch: Match change?
ChadClassic: Yeah, ya see, we video taped you sucking off Stare to get a Tag Title Match at WrestleFever II. And I got the video right here...
Chad plops his briefcase on the table and opens it up. He rummages threw it for a bit as Tyler nods. Crunch makes a face once Chad finally finds it. Its entitled "P2PW: One Night Staring". Chad plops it in the VCR by the TV and presses play. On it appears Stare sitting behind his desk with his pants off, but still in his suit top. StarCrunch is seen sitting across from him in a chair. Star pulls out money from his desk draw.
Stare: $20, one night?
We cut to see StarCrunch hunched in between his legs sucking his dick. We can't see a close-up, as the camera is in the corner of the room looking down. Chad stops playing the video.
ChadClassic: AHHA!
Tyler Stone: So you do suck Stare's dick to get where you are today!
StarCrunch: Okay fine, I admit it. I have oral sex with Stare so I can keep my job in P2PW. Thats what all the ladies here have to do. Give the bosses BJ's and HJ's to keep their jobs. I didn't mean it, honestly. Name your price, what is it?
Tyler Stone: We want you to lay down for us on Blitz! so we can beat you and claim your spot at WrestleFever against D-Unit and DeathRow. Deal?
StarCrunch: Okay fine!
Chad and Tyler slap hands before Chad grabs the video and his briefcase and leaves the office. Crunch puts her face down on the desk and cries her eyes out. Later that day, we see Crunch sitting at a table in a restaurant with Cactus, E2, and Soundscream sitting around her. Next to Cactus is his wife, Funamie.
Cactus: So please Cactus wipes his mouth with a napkin after finishing his 8th plate of Pasta, explain to us once again how you want us to kill ChadClassic and Tyler Stone?
StarCrunch: I was thinking you could just poisin them, or murder them in their apartment and make it seem like a suicide.
Cactus: Well gee, I was thinking more along the lines of pushing him off a ladder.
E2: Naw Nigga!
Soundscream: Well than what do you propose E2?
E2: We send this chump nigga's to Compton, put them on the street corner, trick 'em into dressin' up like tranvestite hooka's, have some angry dudes who ain't get none in 'bout a week, grab 'em, rape 'em, and then kill 'em!
Cactus: Thats brilliant!
Soundscream: Yes. But how the hell do we get them to go to Compton?
Everyone pauses and thinks about it. Meanwhile, Funamie's foot is seen under the table. She kicks her red high heels off and begins to rub it on Crunch's thigh area. Crunch makes a face as she begins to make funny noises.
StarCrunch: Hap-blah-hap-blah...
E2: Yo ho, you iight?
StarCrunch: Just fine. I'm sure you guys will think of something, I gotta go!
Crunch gets up and fastly walks past the table and to the door. Funamie grabs her purse and gets up. She kisses Cactus on the cheek and walks off. But Not before saying...
Funamie: I be right back honey!
Cactus licks his lips and takes his napkin. He wipes his face of the red lipstick kiss.
Cactus: Funamie is cheating on me with StarCrunch. Gentlemen... lets toss her off a ladder.
Soundscream: You mean kill her?
Cactus: Same thing.
We cut to see ChadClassic banging a hot black chick in his bed. She bounces up and down on his dick as Tyler is seen sitting at the table across from the bed trying to do his taxes.
Black Girl: Oh daddy, give it to me harder! harder! harder!
ChadClassic: Oh yeah baby, how you like it!
Tyler Stone: Can you guys please shut up! I'm trying to do both of our taxes here. When I bring a girl over, you don't hear screaming coming from the bedroom.
ChadClassic [panting from the amazingly good sex]: Thats because the girl has already jumped out of the window and away from yo boring ass! Live it up, fuck some chicks in the ass man!
Chad gets back to screwing the girl. The phone rings, its the theme to P2PW Blitz!. Tyler answers the phone.
Tyler Stone: Hello?
Its StarCrunch.
Tyler Stone: Whats up Crunch?
Pause.
Tyler Stone: You want us to do what?!
Pause.
Tyler Stone: You want us to be in the Hamptons by tomorrow afternoon?! Sure!
Click. Shinns puts the phone back down on the reciever as he can't believe the news.
Tyler Stone: Chad, great news buddy, we're going to the Hamptons!
Tyler turns around to see Chad and the girl fast asleep. Tyler just laughs and nods his head. We fast forward to the next day where StarCrunch is seen in her office room in her huge mansion in The Hamptons. She's on the phone... but with who?
StarCrunch: Yeah, I told them to come over. They should be here soon.
We find out the person on the other line is none other than E2.
E2: Well my nigga, when they get there, gimme a call. Peace...
Crunch and E2 hang up the phone. She paces back and forth, worrying about if they'll show or not.
TBC [writing the rest right now, didn't wanna exceed space].
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Post by ChadClassic on Jul 17, 2005 20:23:19 GMT 1
CONTINUING...
We see ChadClassic and Tyler Stone arriving via Ferry to The Hamptons. Chad gets off the boat, drops his stuff, and holds his arms out doing a Michael Jackson-esque pose.
ChadClassic: OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
Tyler Stone: Chad... Chad! Were in The Hamptons. You wanna get laid, doing THAT won't help!
Chad clears his throat, grabs his bags, and him and Stone walk off. We cut to Crunch rummaging threw her drawer. E2 secretly and slowly creeps up on her. Crunch stands up and sees E2 standing there with two drinks in his hand.
StarCrunch: Whoa, E2, you scared me there.
E2: Well nigga, it coulda been worse. I figured I'd come here and wait with ya. Ya might be thirsty, so I brought ya somethin' to drink.
StarCrunch: Aw, thank you!
E2 hands Crunch the Lemonade-looking drink. She takes a wiff of it and smiles. She gulps it down, only to start wobbling around. She drops the glass and it shatters all over the floor. She stumbles back and forth before falling down dead on the chair. E2 smirks and walks over to her. He places a Nickel Bag in her pants pocket and a pair of dark shades on her eyes before looking around and leaving the room. Meanwhile, Chad and Tyler are seen trudging threw the heavy sand. They pass by dudes working out, to women sun-tanning all naked, to kids building sand castles. Chad takes off his shades as he sees two fine ladies staring at him from across the beach.
ChadClassic [under his breath]: Call me!
Tyler Stone: Stop picking up on women man! We have to see Crunch first if we wanna have a shot at winning those Tag Titles.
Chad and Tyler find her house. Its a huge pink mansion with many windows.
Tyler Stone: So this is the infamous StarCrunch Mansion.
ChadClassic: Jeez, who decorated it? Barney & Friends?
Both enter the house and look around to be amazed with the million dollar pantings and such items around it.
Tyler Stone: STARCRUNCH!!!!
ChadClassic: I don't think she's here.
Tyler Stone: She has to be. The door's wide open.
Tyler walks into Crunch's office when he sees a leg sticking out. He walks and drops all of his things when sees StarCrunch passed out on the floor!
Tyler Stone: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! STARCRUNCH IS DEAD!!!!
Chad rushes in quickly and sees it. He drops his stuff and begins to yell.
ChadClassic: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! STARCRUNCH IS DEAD!!!!
Tyler puts his hands on his hips and makes a face. Minutes later, Chad is getting some alcohol to drink as Crunch's dead body is seen sitting on the couch. Tyler sits next to her trying to figure out if she's dead, really.
Tyler Stone: I wanna know how she did.
ChadClassic: Natural Causes? Someone came in and beat her up? She got attacked and shot or stabbed.
Tyler Stone: Can't be. Theirs no signs all over her body that shows she was ever beaten, and theirs no blood... anywhere.
ChadClassic: Well then we've got an awkward case on our hands.
Tyler gets up from next to Crunch's dead body and sits in the couch opposite the telephone. He picks it up and begins to dial.
ChadClassic: What are you doing?
Tyler Stone: Calling 911. We need help for her.
ChadClassic: Oh yeah, and say what? "Um... Officers, we found a dead body in a house we wondered in to."
Tyler thinks about it and hangs up the phone. Soon, people can be seen heading toward the house.
Tyler Stone: Why are those people coming over here?
ChadClassic: I don't think their coming over here...
The people start coming into the house. Most of them are adults, male and female. They all walk around, some go over and grab some wine and relax. Chad and Tyler make faces as to what the hell is going on.
Tyler Stone: If the cops come... run!
Soon, some fellow P2PW'ers enter the building. Chad puts his hand on his head and throws it back. Tyler can't believe this is happening. Shinns goes over to Crunch.
Shinns Theory: Yo Crunchie, nice idea of yours to throw this party!
Shinns kisses her on the cheek and goes over to the bar to get himself a drink. _the j-man walks over to her and mounts her. He begins to whisper in her ear.
_the j-man: Hey Lil' Mama lemme whispa in ear, I know you got somethin' that you'd like to share. Its thissss, this, this, this, this, this.
_the j-man goes threw Crunch's pockets, but finds nothing.
_the j-man: Okay, wait'll I check this one, like this, wait'll I check this one like this.
J-man goes threw her pants pocket and finds the Nickelbag. He kisses her forehead and puts the bag in his pocket before walking off. Crunch is motionless.
ChadClassic: Oh man, we are screwed.
Tyler Stone: Gee, you just figured that out? If we get caught, our careers as wrestlers are done. I'd rather sit threw 10 hours of Randy Savage's Rap Album then go to jail and be Big Ron's Manwhore.
ChadClassic: We gotta figure out a plan man!
Hours have passed by and its the night time. Bonfires are being started outside on the beach. Alot of people are outside running around on the beach, a few people are still inside relaxing. Crunch's lifeless body sits in a Lawn Chair laid back. Chad walks past it numerous times with a drink in his hand.
ChadClassic: A plan... a plan... a... GOT IT!
Just as Chad thinks of the idea, Tyler walks over to him.
Tyler Stone: Think of anything yet?
ChadClassic: Yes I did. I figured we could wire something to Crunch, that way, then you can talk via a microphone to Stare getting a confession from Crunch that she wants to just let you and me win against her and Chilly Willy on Blitz!.
Tyler Stone: Thats brilliant man!
The next day, ChadClassic is seen walking into Stare's office with Crunch under his arm. A wire is attached to her as Tyler is seen in the back of a blue van with a microphone and other technical equipment.
Stare: Yes?
ChadClassic: Stare, I've been thinking it over with Crunch, and we've decided to let me and Tyler win on Blitz! against her and Chilly.
Stare: Um... uh... are you serious?
ChadClassic: Dead-ass serious my friend. Tell 'em Crunch.
StarCrunch [with Tyler's voice in disguise]: Yes, I have decided relingquish this win over to Chad and Tyler. They deserve it more. Me and Chilly are nothing but jobbers and should work our ways up the ladder. So please let them win on Blitz! and then go onto WrestleFever II and become P2PW Tag Team Champions.
Stare: Well uh... if you insist?
Stare pulls out a piece of paper with this weeks Blitz! Card and puts Chad and Tyler down as the winners. Chad nods as Stare gets back to work. He grabs Crunch and walks her out of the room. The door slams shut and Chad does one of those happy skips, but he forgets Crunch is dead and she falls on the floor face first. The credits roll, signaling the end.
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