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Post by brockandsable on Feb 1, 2007 0:49:14 GMT 1
...anyone got any?
I mean, I've been beating my shit without mercy recently and I was wondering what you crackers did to slow it down. I put the porn away, took down the posters, and am watching EPSN more than Spice. Help me out here. ;D
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Post by Faster Pussycat! on Feb 1, 2007 1:06:14 GMT 1
Shame on you for fighting your natural urges. Laissez Faire dude.
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Post by The Great JT on Feb 1, 2007 1:14:05 GMT 1
Seriously.
However, if you're GOING TO TRY, lemme ask you something. You remember Dr. Ruth, that old german lady who gave sex advice on daytime TV? Imagine her naked before you beat your meat. Trust me, that'll stop it cold turkey.
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Post by brockandsable on Feb 1, 2007 1:25:57 GMT 1
I've tried the Dr. Ruth and Janet Reno approach and still nothing. I go ahead and choke my chicken anyway. My girl is beginning to think I'm a serious perv because I prefer to come on her, rather than in her. I've tried drinking a lot of beer. Nothing. I've tried listening to heavy metal. Nada. I need some serious help, here people. It's normal to do it three or four times a week, but I'm spanking the monkey on a daily. Any help?
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Post by The Great JT on Feb 1, 2007 2:10:11 GMT 1
Personally, squish the squid daily too in the AM. Better getting rid of morning wood than having an erection in class. Anyway. Tips to stop when Dr. Ruth and Janet Reno don't work...
Try filling the time you masturbate with something else. Like video games. Or reading. Or porno. Ok, maybe not that last one...
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Post by Spackle on Feb 1, 2007 2:16:26 GMT 1
Eat lots of marshmellows. It won't help you stop, but you'll blow a big bubble from your dick next time.
You could also try getting some scabs or something. Make it hurt to try.
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Post by The Great JT on Feb 1, 2007 2:17:45 GMT 1
Pain is pleasure? Spac, you're into some pretty kinky stuff...
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Post by Keith Williams on Feb 1, 2007 2:32:15 GMT 1
I take it you haven't heard the new Three Day Grace song "Pain" then JT. It talks all about that subject.
And to address E2's question. Just picture Rosie O'Donnell naked. If you still have the urge after that image, then there is no hope for you. Just accept that you are a chronic masturbator and seek professional Help. Perhaps there is a Masturbating Anonymous that you can go join.
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Post by Trent Matsunoshin on Feb 1, 2007 2:56:20 GMT 1
Fuck that, beat it till it's blue!!!
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Post by The Great JT on Feb 1, 2007 3:06:16 GMT 1
Whatever works...
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Post by Spackle on Feb 1, 2007 5:58:44 GMT 1
I take it you haven't heard the new Three Day Grace song "Pain" then JT. It talks all about that subject. And to address E2's question. Just picture Rosie O'Donnell naked. If you still have the urge after that image, then there is no hope for you. Just accept that you are a chronic masturbator and seek professional Help. Perhaps there is a Masturbating Anonymous that you can go join. You do know that those meetings all turn into games of yucky cookie, right? |
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Post by RAGE on Feb 1, 2007 14:09:10 GMT 1
It depends if you actually want to quit or not. If you want to quit, then I'm sure you've got the self control, you could if you really wanted to. But you obviously don't. It's a natural thing though and if it feels better for you, then do it. As Keanu Reeves said in Parenthood about "slapping the salami", that's what little dudes do.
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Post by brockandsable on Feb 1, 2007 16:26:25 GMT 1
Personally, squish the squid daily too in the AM. Better getting rid of morning wood than having an erection in class. That's been tried. The problem is when you sit in the middle rows of the lecture hall there is always a chicky or five that sit in front of you for the purpose of sexual torture. And they know it. They put on those low-cut jeans and pull their thongs up real high, so that when they sit in front of you, you can see it. And get hard. It's murder, I tell you, murder. |
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