Post by Trent Matsunoshin on Aug 30, 2007 2:20:37 GMT 1
Found this floating around another board.....interesting....
1. The guy you pass up for another one is always better, its a proven fact 90% of the time. And even if you dont talk to the one you pass up anymore, you will find yourself thinking about him, and realized that you possibly could be happier. And even if you dont talk, and it seems like he doesnt like you anymore, believe me, he thinks about you every night if he loved you at one point.
I TELL THIS TO WOMEN ALL THE TIME, BUT THEY THINK "OH THE DRUG DEALER OR BALLER IS THE BEST". THEN AFTER HE PUTS A FOOT IN YOUR ASS OR YOU CAUGHT HIM CHEATING WITH YOUR SISTER, BEST FRIEND OR MOTHER THEN YOU LOOK FOR THE CARD YOU THREW AWAY 3 MONTHS AGO...
2. Guys are more emotional then you think, if they loved you at one point, it'll take them a lot longer then you think to let you go, and it hurts every second that they try.
WELL THAT'S BASED ON THE INDIVIDUAL. IN TERMS OF THOUGHTS...YEAH WE THINK ABOUT IT BECAUSE WE ARE CONSTANTLY SEARCHING FOR THE LOGIC IN EVERY NUANCE AND CONVERSATION. IF WE BROKE UP BECAUSE OF "NOTHING" I'M GOING TO OBSSESS ABOUT IT UNTIL I FIND OUT WHAT THAT NOTHING IS OR I RUN A FUCKING POWER DRILL THROUGH MY TEMPLE...
3. "Hey, are you busy?" or "Are you doing something?" ~ two phrases guys open with to stop from stammering on the phone.
WHAT THE HELL IS STAMMERING....A NEW SEX TERM? THE BOTTOM LINE IS ASS OR COMPANIONSHIP DURING ANY CONVERSATION IS THE OBJECTIVE SO IF I AM TALKING TO A WOMAN...ALL I'M THINKING ABOUT IS MY AGENDA. IF I JUST WANT PUSSY I KNOW I CAN'T JUST COME OUT AND SAY "WHY DON'T WE STOP THE BULLSHIT AND JUST BREAK A BED FRAME SOMEWHERE?" I ADMIT I'M VERY BLUNT IN MOST SCENARIOS, BUT I'M NOT STUPID EITHER. WE'RE PLAYING CHESS OUT HERE.....AND A STAMMER A.K.A STUTTER OR PAUSE IS JUST US THINKING ABOUT THE AGENDA, BUT HAVING A ROAD BLOCK THAT CONFLICTS WITH THE PLAN.
4. Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.
THAT'S TRUE. FLIRTING IS JUST A WAY TO GAUGE THE MARKET. THE ONLY REASON I MAY BE STOCKPILING WOMEN IS TO PREPARE FOR THE ONE AS WELL AS HAVE A BACKUP IN CASE THE WOMAN YOU WANT TO BE THE ONE ACTS A FOOL. LOGIC....
5. Before they call, guys try to plan out a little about what they're gonna say so there aren't awkward pauses, but once he's on the phone he forgets it all and makes it up as he goes.
YEAH THAT'S TRUE. IT'S A UNIVERSAL THING CALLED FIRST IMPRESSION. IF A WOMAN IS WORTH THE CALL OR THE SLIGHT LOWERING OF CHARACTER (YOU KNOW BEING A TOUGHIE, BUT SOFTENING UP A LITTLE TO GET HER) YOU'VE PLANNED IT OUT BASED ON THE PREVIOUS CONVERSATION THAT YOU HAD. IF WE TALKED ABOUT FUCKING YOU PLAN IT OUT BASED ON THAT. IF WE SPOKE ABOUT YOU WANTING A RELATIONSHIP WE SPEAK ABOUT THAT. IT'S NOT MAPPING OUT THE WHOLE CONVO...JUST THE FOUNDATION. REMEMBER WE ARE CONTROL FREAKS. IF WE ARE NOT IN CONTROL AS A MAN WE ARE NOT A MAN....OR AT LEAST THAT'S HOW WE'RE RAISED.
6. Guys go crazy over a girl's smile.
IF SHE HAS A KD AUBERT SMILE. BUT IF SHE HAS PLAQUE BUILD UP OR SMOKED A COUPLE OF HER TEETH OUT IT'S A PROBLEM. AS YOU CAN SEE ON MY FRIENDS LIST (FOR THOSE THAT ACTUALLY CAN) MOST OF THE LADIES HAVE GOOD SMILES. JUST THAT SOME ARE JUST CONSUMED WITH BITTERNESS THAT THEY DON'T. REMEMBER A SMILE IS A WINDOW TO YOU SOUL.
7. Guys will do anything just to get you to notice him.
UM..WE'RE NOT WOMEN. THE BOTTOM LINE IS IF I'M INTERESTED IN A WOMAN I'M WALKING STRAIGHT UP TO HER. WHAT I SAY MAYBE DIFFERENT IF I'M LIKE "OH SHIT STACEY DASH IS OVER THERE"...I MAY WALK OVER, OPEN MY MOUTH AND A CUP OF WATER MAY DRIP OUT...
8. Guys hate it when you talk about your ex-boyfriend or ex love-interest. Unless they're goin for the let-her-complain-to-you-and-then-have-her-realize-how-wonderful-and-nice-you-are method.
EXACTLY...SOMEONE HAS BEEN SELLING GOVERNMENT SECRETS AGAIN. THE BOTTOM LINE IS THE AGENDA. I WANT YOU AS MY WOMAN....EXPLOIT THE FLAWS OF THE EX. YOUR MAN WAS LOUSY BETWEEN THE SHEETS....DO EXACTLY THE SAME THINGS YOU COMPLAINED ABOUT AND MORE. LOGIC....
9. A guy who likes you wants to be the only guy you talk to.
YEAH....WHY THE FUCK WOULD I WANT YOU HOLLERING AT TOM, DICK AND HAKIM? I MEAN NOT IN A JEALOUS WAY LIKE DON'T TALK TO YOUR FRIEND OF 25 YEARS, BUT DON'T TELL ME THAT HE'S OVER AT YOUR HOUSE MORE THAN I AM...
10. Boyfriends need to be reassured often that they're still loved.
WELL NOT LIKE A WOMAN NEEDS TO, BUT I NEED TO KNOW TO PLAN MY PARACHUTE PLAN. IF THINGS AREN'T CONSISTENT I'M ONTO THE NEXT THING. GUYS DON'T MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE WOMEN DO LIKE STAY IN A RELATIONSHIP WHEN YOU KEEP BUMPING YOUR EYE INTO THE BANISTER. IF IT'S NOT WORKING AND ADJUSTMENTS CAN'T BE MADE....YOU'LL RECEIVE A POST CARD....
11. Don't talk about your guy friends to your boyfriend.
LIKE I SAID BEFORE...I'M NOT SAYING DON'T TALK ABOUT YOUR FRIEND HAKIM OF 26 YEARS, BUT DON'T HAVE A 2 HOUR CONVERSATION ABOUT HIM. THAT WILL LEAD ME TO ASSUME YOU GUYS ARE FUCKING AND I NEED TO START FUCKING YOUR BEST FRIEND OR SISTER. YOU TURN ON THAT DORMANT FISHING MECHANISM AGAIN BY DOING THAT. BY THE WAY JUST TO LET YOU KNOW....THE BEST FRIEND OR SISTER FUCK ISN'T OUT OF CONVENIENCE OR JUST BEING FUCKED UP...IT'S BECAUSE WE KNOW THEY ALREADY KNOW OUR NUANCES BECAUSE YOU KEEP BLABBERING TO THEM ABOUT US....HENCE A FEW DAYS SAVED....
12. Guys get jealous easily.
YES...IF IT'S SOMEONE WE CARE ABOUT. THE BOTTOM LINE IS BEING WANTED. OF COURSE NO ONE WANTS TO BE LONELY, BUT IF YOU ACT A FOOL...I ACT A FOOL WHILE MAINTAINING MY INTEGRITY.
13. Guys are more emotional than they'd like people to think.
WE ARE RAISED TO BE EMOTIONLESS TO PROTECT AND PROVIDE FOR OUR FAMILIES. EMOTIONS ARE CONJURED WHEN WE DEAL WITH THE EMOTIONAL BEINGS....WOMEN. WHY DO YOU THINK MUSIQ WROTE THAT SONG?
14. Giving a guy a hanging message like "You know what?!..uh...nevermind.." would make him jump to a conclusion that is far from what you are thinking. And he'll assume he did something wrong and he'll obsess about it trying to figure it out.
FUCK YEAH..BECAUSE MOST WOMEN AREN'T STRAIGHTFORWARD. UM...NOTHING? BITCH WHAT'S THE PROBLEM? I DO 23 HOUR A DAY 161 HOUR WORK WEEKS AND THE ACTUAL MOMENT I'M CONSCIOUS I AND TRYING TO WATCH FAMILY GUY I DON'T WANT TO WORRY ABOUT WHAT THAT NOTHING IS. DID I GET YOU PREGNANT? DID YOU TRY EXTASY FOR THE FIRST TIME AND HAD AN ORGY WITH ALL YOUR GIRLFRIENDS THAT I WOULD HAVE CHOPPED MY LEFT HAND OFF TO BE APART OF? WHAT...IS IT? JUST SAY IT BECAUSE I DON'T WANT ANYTHING TO BE WRONG ESPECIALLY WHEN I L WORD YOU.
15. Guys are good flatterers when courting but they usually stammer when they talk to a girl they really like.
KINDA....WHEN THERE IS A WOMAN YOU ACTUALLY LIKE TO MAKE YOUR FUTURE WIFE AND BABY MOMMA YOU THINK ABOUT HOW TO ATTACK HER. YOU MAY LOAD THE JUMPOFF PROGRAM (MATRIX REFERENCE FOR THE SLOOOWW MINDED) AND TRY TO STRAIGHT BEAT FROM CONVO AND RUN INTO REAL WIFEY MATERIAL THAT TESTS/IMPRESSES YOU BECAUSE SHE'S ON YOUR LEVEL OF INTELLIGENCE. HENCE THE SLIGHT PAUSE...YOU KNOW? "WOW SHE'S NOT A BIRD".
16. Guys hate asking parents for money to buy girls presents. So they come up with ideas like saving their lunch money for a week. But it never works because guys are always hungry so they end up asking the parents for money anyway.
WHAT GUY IS ASKING THEIR PARENTS FOR MONEY? THIS WAS WRITTEN BY A 17 YEAR OLD. A GROWN UP...DEPENDING ON THE VIBE OF THE SITUATION IS TAKING OUT A 35% APR ZALES CARD TO LOCK THAT DOOOOWWN.
17. Girls are guys' weaknesses.
AGAIN HIGH SCHOOLER....WOMEN ARE MENS' WEAKNESS BASED ON THE FLAVOR AND FRESHNESS OF THE PRODUCT....
18. Guys are very open about themselves.
FUCKING RIGHT. WHAT'S ALL THESE SUBLIMINAL CUES I GOT TO LEARN IN THE 2ND GRADE. IF SHE DOES THE HAIR FLIP AND THE ZIPPER TUG JUMP ON HER ASS. COME ON IF YOU LIKE ME AND DON'T FEEL LIKE WALKING ALL THE WAY OVER TO GET TURNED DOWN AT LEAST MEET ME HALF WAY IF I SMILE BACK. YOU'RE ON ONE SIDE AND I'M ON THE OTHER...TELL YOUR FRIENDS TO LEAVE YOU FOR A SECOND OR I'LL MEET YOU AT THE BAR....
19. It's good to test a guy first before you trust him. But don't let him wait too long.
DEFINITELY WAITING TOO LONG IS AN ISSUE BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE TIME TO WASTE. IN TERMS OF TESTING THAT'S CHILDISH. THE WAY TO GAUGE A MAN'S CHARACTER IS THROUGH THE WAY HE EXPRESSES AND CARRIES HIMSELF. IF YOU GET A VIBE THAT HE IS SCUM MOVE FORWARD...NEXT QUESTION.
20. Your best friend, whom your boyfriend seeks help from about his problems with you may end up being admired by your boyfriend.
SHOULDN'T THAT BE BEST FRIEND?
21. If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to listen to him. You don't need to give advice.
DAMN RIGHT. YOU HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS OUT THERE, REGARDLESS IF THEY'RE 18 OR 40 THAT THINK THAT A MAN IS WEAK OR GAY BECAUSE HE EXPRESSES HIMSELF. THE WHOLE POINT OF THE DATING AND SKATING PROCESS IS TO FIND THAT ONE WOMAN THAT WILL ALLOW HIM TO WALK OVER TO THE COUCH, PUT HIS HEAD ON HIS WOMAN'S LAP AND SPEAK HIS MIND. I MEAN THAT'S THE REASON HE ALSO THREW YOU OFF THE BED DURING HAPPY HOUR. A MAN NEEDS TO RELEASE THE STRESS OF HOLDING SOCIETY AND HIS FAMILY ON HIS SHOULDERS...
22. A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases you.
UMM....ARE WE IN JUNIOR HIGH PASSING OUT IF YOU LIKE ME NOTES? IF A GUY LIKES YOU HE WILL WALK HIS ASS OVER TO YOU AND START A CONVERSATION: IN A BAR/CLUB/LOUNGE HE WILL WALK OVER AND ASK YOU IF YOU WANT A DRINK OR WHY YOU'RE NOT DANCING, IN CHUUCH HE WILL WONDER WHY THE COLLECTION PLATE IS OVERFLOWING. BEING LIKED IS EXPRESSED WHERE YOU KNOW IT. PUT IT LIKE THIS....IF YOUR HIS PHONE CALL ON FRIDAYS AND SATURDAYS AND YOU'RE GOING SOMEWHERE OTHER THAN HIS HOUSE OR THE TELLY...HE LIKES YOU. NEXT QUESTION.....
23. Guys love you more than you love them if they are serious in your relationships.
WHAT KIND OF SHIT IS THIS? IF THERE'S A MUTUAL LOVE THEN YOU WILL WITNESS THE SERIOUSNESS. IF I'M IN A RELATIONSHIP WHERE I FEEL LIKE I'M PUTTING IN TOO MUCH OR FEEL WHIPPED I'M GONNA TAP DANCE MY ASS OVER TO THE NEXT WOMAN AND WHIP HER ASS (SEXUAL...NOT DOMESTIC VIOLENCE REFERENCE..LOL).
24. Guys will brag about anything.
NO.....WE ONLY BRAG WHEN IT'S WORTH IT OR BOOSTS PUBLIC IMAGE. OTHER THAN THAT WE DON'T TALK ABOUT BROTHER JOHNSON.
25. Guys use words like hot or cute to describe girls. We rarely use beautiful.If a guy uses that, he likes you a whole hell of a lot.
SEE...THIS IS SOME 13 YEAR OLD SHIT. WHAT GROWN ASS MAN SAYS A WOMAN IS HOT OR CUTE? NOW IF SHE IS A CUTIE OKAY..SHE'S CUTE, BUT I APPLY THAT TO YOUNGER GIRLS. IF I AM REFERENCING AN ATTRACTIVE WOMAN SHE IS EITHER A. ATTRACTIVE B. BEAUTIFUL OR C. ENGAGING....YOU FUCKERS NEED TO GRADUATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL. AND IF I'M INTERESTED...ALL I'M GOING TO SAY IS....I LIKE THE WAY YOU CARRY YOURSELF....LETS START DATING.
26. No matter how much guys talk about asses and boobs, personality is key.
DEFINITELY...WHAT'S THE SENSE OF HAVING AN ASS BIG ENOUGH TO PLACE THANKSGIVING DINNER ON OR TITIES BIG ENOUGH TO QUENCH THE THIRSTS OF A THIRD WORLD NATION WHEN YOU HAVE NO PERSONALITY? OKAY MR. JOHNSON WILL SALUTE TO ATTENTION ONLY BUT SO MANY TIMES BECAUSE OF BABY OIL AND WHIP CREAM. CHEMISTRY IS THE REASON WHY SO MANY RELATIONSHIPS LAST OR FAIL. IF YOU'RE ON THAT "I'M A STAR" SHIT YOU WILL FAIL.
27. Guys learn from experience not from the romance books that girls read and take as their basis of experience.
YOU FINALLY GOT ONE RIGHT. ROMANCE NOVELS FEED INTO WOMEN'S CINDERELLA COMPLEX. MOST WOMEN THAT WERE EXPOSE TO THIS THINK THAT THEY'RE GOING TO MEET SOME TALL, DARK AND HANDSOME DUDE THAT HAS A BLACK CARD AND A RED CARD AND WILL FLY THEM OUT TO HIS DESERTED ISLAND AND POKE THEM OUT BECAUSE HE'S TALL. WE UNDERSTAND THAT WE MIGHT FIND HAPPINESS WITH A ONE EYED MIDGET NAMED SALLY.....THAT HAS ALL THE CHARACTERISTICS THAT WEREN'T PRESENT IN OUR PREVIOUS RELATIONSHIPS/JUMPOFFS.
28. Guys worry about the thin line between being compassionate and being whipped.
YEAH....
29. Guys think WAY too much. One small thing a girl does, even if she doesn't notice it can make the guy think about it for hours, trying to figure out what it meant.
WELL IF YOU DAMN WOMEN WOULD LET ME KNOW WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND I WOULDN'T HAVE TO WASTE PRECIOUS TIME WORRYING ABOUT SHIT. THAT'S WHY YOU GUYS LIVE LONGER THAN US.
30. Guys seek for advice from girls not other guys. Because most guys think alike, so if one guy's confused, then we're all confused.
THIS WAS OBVIOUSLY WRITTEN BY A 12 YEAR OLD GIRL. GUYS ARE HARDWIRED IN SIMILAR WAYS...THE CENTRAL THING BEING LOGIC, BUT WE ASK FOR ADVICE FROM SEASONED MEN. IF I'M THAT COOL I MAY ASK YOUR POPS SOME QUESTIONS OR A DUDE THAT I KNOW THAT GOT MARRIED. THE ONLY REASON I ASK A WOMAN ABOUT ANYTHING IS ABOUT SOMETHING THAT IS UNIVERSALLY APPEALING TO ALL WOMEN. OKAY...LET ME GET HER THOSE CHLOE SHOES OR LET ME CALL HER ON HER JOB AND TELL HER I'VE TAKE THE LIBERTY OF HOLLER AT HER BOSS TO GIVE HER THE REST OF THE WEEK OFF AND FLY HER OUT TO FRANCE.....WHATEVER...
31. Any guy could write out a rulebook or advice book for flirting, but no guy can write out a book about relationships.
WE DON'T NEED A BOOK ON RELATIONSHIPS. WE JUST NEED FUCKING COMMUNICATION. IF YOU SPEND YOUR TIME TELLING ME NOTHINGS WRONG INSTEAD OF TELLING ME WHEN YOU WANT IT, HOW YOU WANT IT AND WHERE YOU WANT IT (AND I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT SEX) THEN THINGS WILL WORK. THERE ARE 15 MILLION RELATIONSHIP BOOKS FOR WOMEN TO UNDERSTAND MEN, BUT THERE'S NOTHING COMPLEXED ABOUT US. COMPLEXITY HAS BEEN BUILT FROM MISGUIDED WOMEN. MEN ARE OPEN BOOKS. ALL I GIVE A SHIT ABOUT IS I HAVE A WARM MEAL ON THE TABLE AFTER A LONG DAY, A ROOF OVER MY HEAD, SOME GOOD NOOKIE AND SOMEONE TO TALK TO ABOUT THE FINANCIAL MOVES I MAKE AND MY STRESSES..WHY WOULD I NEED AN ADVICE BOOK?
32. Try to be as straightforward as possible.
THAT'S THE ONLY WAY YOU SHOULD BE. WHAT SHOULD BE SAID: "YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL AND I WANT YOU TO JOIN MY LIFE"..THAT'S IT.....
33. If the guy does something stupid in front of the girl, he will think about it for the next couple days or until the next time he spends time with the girl.
YEAH...BUT IT'S NOT JUST WOMEN....IT'S LIFE.
34. If a guy looks unusually calm and laid back, he's probably faking it and is spazzing inside.
SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!! I AM CALM AND LAID BACK AND I DON'T FAKE ANYTHING. NERVOUSNESS OR CONFUSING WILL EVENTUALLY MAKE IT'S WAY TO THE SURFACE. IT JUST DEPENDS ON THE INDIVIDUAL. SOME MEN CONTINUE TO STAY CALM SOME RUN AROUND LIKE THEIR CLOTHES ARE ON FIRE....
35. When a guy says he is going crazy about the girl, he really is. Guys rarely say that.
WELL I WOULDN'T SAY GOING CRAZY....BUT I COULD SAY YEAH IF I'M HAVING A JODECI MOMENT IT'S WORTH IT.
36. When a guy asks you to leave him alone, he's just actually saying, "Please come and listen to me."
NO THAT'S SOMETHING A WOMAN DOES. IF I NEED SOMEONE TO LISTEN TO ME I WILL ASK "DO YOU HAVE A MINUTE?" NOT PLEASE COME AND LISTEN. THIS WAS OBVIOUSLY WRITTEN BY A YOUNG 13 YEAR OLD CLOSET HOMOSEXUAL THAT LIVES IN HIS MOMS ATTIC...
37. Guys don't really have final decisions.
AGAIN....13 YEAR OLD.....THE REASON DECISIONS ARE "FINAL" ARE SO WE CAN KEEP THE EQUILIBRIUM OF ORDER GOING...BUT IT'S NOT TO SAY WE WON'T BE FLEXIBLE AND MAKE SOMETHING WORK...
38. If a guy starts to talk seriously, listen to him. It doesn't happen that often, so when it does, you know something's up.
SOME OF THESE THINGS ARE FROM A WOMEN'S PERSPECTIVE. IF I HAVE SOMETHING SERIOUS TO SAY...YES I NEED YOUR UNDIVIDED ATTENTION...IF I DON'T AND IT HAPPENS CONSISTENTLY...I WILL BE AT CHARLENE'S HOUSE DIGGING HER OUT AND THEN DISCUSSING MY PROBLEM OR REASON FOR SERIOUS CONVERSATION. WHOEVER WROTE THIS MAKES IT SEEM LIKE MEN ARE CHILDISH. IF YOU HAVE CONFLICT IN YOUR LIFE CHECK OUT MY STATE OF THE UNION ADDRESS OR PAY ME $50 AN HOUR FOR COUNSELING...
39. If a best guy friend seems to avoid you or is never around when you're with your boyfriend, he's probably jealous and likes you.
NO...IT'S A CALLED RESPECT. MAYBE IN SOME CASES, BUT WHY WOULD I BE IN THE ROOM WHEN MY MAN IS TONGUING DOWN HIS WOMAN? OR IN THE CONTEXT OF THE QUESTION WHY WOULD I STILL BE SITTING THERE WHEN YOUR MAN IS FONDLING YOU?
40. When a guy tells you that you are beautiful, don't say you aren't. It makes them want to stop telling you because they don't want you to disagree with them.
NO IT MAKES ME STOP BECAUSE YOU ARE A LOW SELF ESTEEM BITCH. EXCEPT IT AS A COMPLIMENT, BUT IF I'VE TOLD YOU THIS 100 DAYS IN A ROW AND YOU'RE STILL LIKE I'M NOT...THEN YOU NEED A PRESCRIPTION FOR ANTI-DEPRESSANTS...
41.When a guy looks at you for longer than a second, he's definitely thinking something.
*SMACK HEAD* WHEN A GUY LOOKS AT YOU FOR LONGER THAN A COUPLE OF SECONDS HE'S THINK A. THAT BITCH HAS A PHAT ASS/BIG ASS TITIES B. I NEED TO GO AND TALK TO HER...SHE LOOKS SOMEONE I'D LIKE TO TALK TO OR C. THIS CHICK HAS A BIG ASS GRAVY STAIN ON THE FRONT OF HER DRESS AND NEEDS TO COME BACK TO EARTH AND CLEAN THAT UP...
42. Guys like femininity not feebleness.
WHAT AM I GAY? WHY WOULDN'T I WANT FEMININITY? I AM NOT DEALING WITH A WOMAN THAT IS AS MANISH AS ME..I'M SORRY. FOR THOSE DEEP VOICED PROJECT CHICKS, I THINK THEY HAVE THAT UNDER THE LAYER OF ALL THAT STREET SHIT THEY KICK, BUT I AM NOT DEALING WITH A WOMAN THAT MAKES ME FEEL THAT I AM SPENDING A NIGHT AT ELTON JOHN'S HOUSE.
43. Guys don't like girls who punch harder than they do.
WELL YEAH....BECAUSE THEN I'LL START THINKING YOU USED TO BE ALBERT 2 YEARS AGO...
44. A guy has more problems than you can see with your naked eyes.
IMMATURE ASS SURVEY WRITER......WE HAVE THE WEIGHT OF SOCIETY TO MAINTAIN. WE HAVE PLENTY OF PROBLEMS. THE GOVERNMENT FORCING US TO GET 4 JOBS BECAUSE OF CHILD SUPPORT, OUR WOMAN NOT SAYING WHAT SHE THINKS....THESE ARE ISSUES MAN.....
45. Don't be a snob. Guys can be intimidated and give up easily.
NO!!!! THE REASON I DON'T DEAL WITH THAT IS BECAUSE YOUR UGLY MENTALLY, BUT I WOULD TAKE IT AS A CHALLENGE. WHAT THE FUCK..SO BECAUSE VANESSA LOOK AT ME LIKE I'M A PESSANT THAT I SHOULD JUST PUT MR. JOHNSON BETWEEN MY LEGS AND WALK OFF? NO WHAT'S WRONG...WHY ARE YOU SO ANGRY OR SNOBBISH AND IF IT'S A PROBLEM YOU'LL NEVER GET THE ATTENTION YOU WANT WITH THAT ATTITUDE. I MEAN SERIOUSLY....IF YOU WERE ON SOME LINDSAY LOHAN....PARIS HILTON SHIT BECAUSE YOU CAN AFFORD TO...HOW WOULD YOU GET THE MAN WITH THE BIG BANK AND YOU KNOW...TO RAM YOU OUT IF YOU AREN'T FIELDING ANY WORDS? YOU'RE JUST BITTER......
46. Everything in moderation. Put on makeup, wear perfume. Just not too much.
YEAH...I HATE WOMEN THAT WEAR TOO MUCH MAKEUP AND PURFUME. YOU NEED TO LET THE COUNTER WOMEN SHOW YOU HOW TO APPLY IT OR GET ON A WEBSITE....ESPECIALLY MY BLACK QUEENS. CHICKS BE LOOKING LIKE DIONNE WARRICK PUTTING ON ALL THAT FOUNDATION AND EYELINER. UMM...AIN'T YOU 18?
47. Guys talk about girls more than girls talk about guys.
WRONG AGAIN....IF WE'RE TALKING ABOUT WOMEN WE ARE EITHER DECIDING WHO WE'RE GOING TO FUCK OR WHO HAS SENSIBLE CONVERSATION TO BE IN THE STABLE OF HANG OUT PARTNERS OR EVENTUAL WIVES....
48. Guys hate rejection, but they hate being led on even more.
CORRECT.....REJECTION IS A PART OF GROWTH. IF YOU GET REJECTED AND GO HANG YOURSELF IN A CLOSET YOU DESERVED TO DIE. YOU KNOW HOW MANY WOMEN REJECT ME IN THE CLUB? BUT WHAT DO I DO...I KEEP IT PUSHING....I DON'T CARE IF YOU DON'T WANT TO BE SECOND BEST OR YOUR A CREW OF 12 SISTERS AND COUSINS I WLL WALK AROUND IN A CIRCLE UNTIL SOMEBODY COMES TO THEIR SENSES. BEING LED ON IS A SIGN OF IMMATURITY AND IGNORANCE....I LOOK AT IT AS YOU EITHER WANT ME OR YOU DON'T. DON'T HAVE ME TAKING YOU ON DATES IF YOU WEREN'T LOOKING AT PUTTING OUT OR MOVING FORWARD TO GREENER PASTURES IF THAT'S NOT YOUR INTENTION. I'M ABOUT KNOWING WOMAN THAT CAN PROVIDE MY NEEDS AND VICE VERSA. IF YOU'RE NOT A VESSLE FOR FUN....GO SIT IN A CORNER SOMEWHERE...
49. If you are going to reject a guy, just do it. Don't say they are like a brother or just good friends, it just hurts even more. Tell them that you aren't interested in a relationship and they will respect you.
YEAH....BUT YOU SHOULD KNOW WHAT YOU WANT STRAIGHT UP. I DON'T BEAT AROUND THE BUSH. IF I WANT A RELATIONSHIP AND YOU WANT ONE TOO LETS HOOK UP. IF YOU JUST WANT TO BE PUT TO SLEEP LET IT BE KNOWN. IF YOU WANT SOME FOOL TO BUY YOU SHIT...THAT'S NOT ME...BUT YOU CAN LET ME KNOW.....IT'S ALL ABOUT LETTING EACH OTHER KNOW EACH OTHERS AGENDAS. I AM NOT GOING TO FUCK SOME WOMAN THAT IS TIRED OF FUCKING MISCELLANEOUS PEOPLE AND WANTS TO GET MARRIED AND HAVE BABIES. IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE AND LEAVES ROOM FOR BITTERNESS.
50. Guys really think that girls are strange and have unpredictable decisions and are MAD confusing but somehow are drawn even more to them.
WOMEN ARE A HANDFUL. A LOT OF WOMEN (NOT ALL) ARE HEADACHES BECAUSE YOUR HEAD WILL EXPLODE LIKE NEIL ON DAVE CHAPPELLE TRYING TO FIGURE THINGS OUT. I AM NOT DRAWN TO PROBLEMS I AM DRAWN TO A CHALLENGE THAT'S WORTH IT. I.E. STEPHANIE IS ARROGANT, BUT I'M GOING TO TALK THAT SHIT TO MAKE HER SMILE. MY LIFE IS NOT ALL ABOUT THE CLUB, BUT DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY WOMEN I GOT GOING BECAUSE OF HOW I APPROACHED THEM? MAD WOMEN...HAVE SAID I'M SPECIAL AND I KNOW I AM NOW YOU NEED TO DO WHAT IT TAKES TO BECOME A PART OF..MY WORLD.....
51. A guy would give his left nut to be able to read a girl's mind for a day.
WELL I DON'T KNOW ABOUT MY LEFT NUT, BUT WHAT I CAN SAY IS WOMEN NEED TO START ACTING LIKE WOMEN. IF YOU LIKE THAT MICHAEL EALY/REGGIE BUSH LOOKING BROTHER LET HIM KNOW. WHY DO I HAVE TO MAX OUT MY CREDIT CARDS AND WASTE WEEKS OF MY LIFE TRYING TO FIGURE YOU OUT? LET ME KNOW WHY YOU WANT ME...I'LL DO THE SAME AND LETS TAKE IT FROM THERE. I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR GAMES. THIS ISN'T THE 4TH GRADE...
52. No guy can handle all his problems on his own. He's just too stubborn to admit it.
IT'S NOT STUBBORNESS. IT'S CALLED BEING A MAN AND NOT HAVING MATURE PEOPLE AROUND HIM. IF MY WOMAN, HANG OUT BUDDY OR FEMALE FRIENDS AREN'T WILLING TO AT LEAST LISTEN TO OR ALLOW ME TO DELEGATE A PROBLEM TO THEM THEN I DON'T FUCKING NEED THEM. THERE ARE TOO MANY BEAUTIFUL WOMEN OUT THERE THAT WOULD GIVE UP THEIR LEFT COOCHIE LIP FOR THAT OPPORTUNITY.
53. Not all guys are assholes. Just because ONE is a jackass doesnt mean he represents ALL of us.
PREACH.....THE WOMEN THAT MADE POOR DECISIONS AND DEALT WITH SOME LOSER ARE THE ONES PUTTING OUT THE MEN AIN'T SHIT NONSENSE AND BECOMING LESBIANS. THE DUDES THAT YOU THOUGHT WERE SOFT OR CORNY WERE THE EXACT ONES YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN FUCKING WITH. BUT I GUESS DONKEYS NEED TO BE TOGETHER.
54. We don't like girls who are too skinny.
AGAIN...13 YEAR OLD DL BROTHER.....NOW OKAY IF SHE'S ON SOME SKELETAL SHIT LIKE NICOLE RITCHIE USED TO BE THEN YEAH. I WOULD BE SCARED I MIGHT BREAK HER RIB WHILE DANCING OR PULL HER LEG OFF WHILE FUCKING, BUT I'D BE CLOSED MINDED IF I DIDN'T THINK SKINNY WOMEN ARE SEXY....
55. We love it when girls talk about there boobs.
NO....WE LOVE IT WHEN WOMEN HAVE THEIR BOOBS IN OUR MOUTHS AFTER WE FINISHED TALKING....GET FACTS STRAIGHT PATNA... (WITH THE FAIZON LOVE EMPHASIS..LOL)
56. Always make sure you know what kind of stuff your getting into before making out with a guy ...like whether it's a one time deal or not ....
AGAIN IMMATURE..I AM NOT GOING TO SWAP SPIT WITH SOMEONE THAT WANTS TO FALL IN LOVE AND HAVE BABIES. FIRST OFF I WANT TO KNOW IF I'M GOING TO CATCH SOMETHING FROM THIS WOMAN. SECONDLY....WHY AM I MAKING OUT WITH HER WITHOUT KNOWING WHAT SHE WANTS? IF I WANT A JUMPOFF I'M GOING TO MAKE SURE THAT I'M FUCKING A JUMPOFF MINDED WOMAN. I DON'T WANT TO BREAK ANOTHER WOMAN'S HEART AND HAVE HER SITTING AT HER FRIENDS HOUSE TALKING ABOUT FUCK MEN AND LETS TRY THIS LESBIAN THING....
57. Believe it or not shy guys are the most easiest to talk to..it may not seem right but trust me they will start opening up like books after you just ask them questions about their lives and unoticable tell them about yours.
BELIEVE IT OR NOT? I WON'T EVEN COMMENT ON THIS DUMB SHIT...
58. When a guy hits your butt it means that he wants you sexually
OKAY? WOULDN'T I BE SMACKING THAT ASS WHEN I'M DOING SOMETHING SEXUALLY? I'M NOT GOING TO SMACK A GIRL/WOMAN IN THE ASS JUST FOR THE HELL IT. FOR US ADULTS IT'S CALLED SEXUAL HARASSMENT OR GETTING FUCKED UP BY HER HUSBAND THAT WAS BEHIND YOU OR HER NFL LINESMAN BROTHER THAT WAS COMING BACK FROM THE BAR WITH THE DRINKS....
59. Even if they refuse it all guys are ticklish on the ribs.
NAH..AND WHY ARE YOU TICKLING ME. IF WE ARE TOGETHER WE NEED TO BE TALKING ABOUT THIS RELATIONSHIP THANG OR FUCKING. NOTHING ELSE....
60. Guys love neck rubs and if he lets you keep doing it ..it means that he really likes you or his neck really hurts.
WELL FROM ALLTHIS DAMN STRESS PON MI MIND I NEED A MASSAGE..AND IT DOESN'T HAVE SHIT TO DO WITH BEING LIKED. THAT'S CALLED KNOWING WHAT THE FUCK YOUR DOING....
61. Guys will test the waters to see how far they can get with you. Even if he doesn't intend to it will happen. Know how far it is you want to let him go and he will respect that...after you let him know a couple times.
A COUPLE OF TIMES? OKAY....YEAH I WANT TO TEST THE WATER..A COUPLE OF TIMES. IF IT'S NOT WORTH AFTER THAT I'M OUT LIKE A MAN HIDING IN THE WOODS FROM CHILD SUPPORT AGENTS....
62. When a guy sacrifices his sleep and health just to be with you, he really likes you and wants to be with you as much as possible.
1. The guy you pass up for another one is always better, its a proven fact 90% of the time. And even if you dont talk to the one you pass up anymore, you will find yourself thinking about him, and realized that you possibly could be happier. And even if you dont talk, and it seems like he doesnt like you anymore, believe me, he thinks about you every night if he loved you at one point.
I TELL THIS TO WOMEN ALL THE TIME, BUT THEY THINK "OH THE DRUG DEALER OR BALLER IS THE BEST". THEN AFTER HE PUTS A FOOT IN YOUR ASS OR YOU CAUGHT HIM CHEATING WITH YOUR SISTER, BEST FRIEND OR MOTHER THEN YOU LOOK FOR THE CARD YOU THREW AWAY 3 MONTHS AGO...
2. Guys are more emotional then you think, if they loved you at one point, it'll take them a lot longer then you think to let you go, and it hurts every second that they try.
WELL THAT'S BASED ON THE INDIVIDUAL. IN TERMS OF THOUGHTS...YEAH WE THINK ABOUT IT BECAUSE WE ARE CONSTANTLY SEARCHING FOR THE LOGIC IN EVERY NUANCE AND CONVERSATION. IF WE BROKE UP BECAUSE OF "NOTHING" I'M GOING TO OBSSESS ABOUT IT UNTIL I FIND OUT WHAT THAT NOTHING IS OR I RUN A FUCKING POWER DRILL THROUGH MY TEMPLE...
3. "Hey, are you busy?" or "Are you doing something?" ~ two phrases guys open with to stop from stammering on the phone.
WHAT THE HELL IS STAMMERING....A NEW SEX TERM? THE BOTTOM LINE IS ASS OR COMPANIONSHIP DURING ANY CONVERSATION IS THE OBJECTIVE SO IF I AM TALKING TO A WOMAN...ALL I'M THINKING ABOUT IS MY AGENDA. IF I JUST WANT PUSSY I KNOW I CAN'T JUST COME OUT AND SAY "WHY DON'T WE STOP THE BULLSHIT AND JUST BREAK A BED FRAME SOMEWHERE?" I ADMIT I'M VERY BLUNT IN MOST SCENARIOS, BUT I'M NOT STUPID EITHER. WE'RE PLAYING CHESS OUT HERE.....AND A STAMMER A.K.A STUTTER OR PAUSE IS JUST US THINKING ABOUT THE AGENDA, BUT HAVING A ROAD BLOCK THAT CONFLICTS WITH THE PLAN.
4. Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.
THAT'S TRUE. FLIRTING IS JUST A WAY TO GAUGE THE MARKET. THE ONLY REASON I MAY BE STOCKPILING WOMEN IS TO PREPARE FOR THE ONE AS WELL AS HAVE A BACKUP IN CASE THE WOMAN YOU WANT TO BE THE ONE ACTS A FOOL. LOGIC....
5. Before they call, guys try to plan out a little about what they're gonna say so there aren't awkward pauses, but once he's on the phone he forgets it all and makes it up as he goes.
YEAH THAT'S TRUE. IT'S A UNIVERSAL THING CALLED FIRST IMPRESSION. IF A WOMAN IS WORTH THE CALL OR THE SLIGHT LOWERING OF CHARACTER (YOU KNOW BEING A TOUGHIE, BUT SOFTENING UP A LITTLE TO GET HER) YOU'VE PLANNED IT OUT BASED ON THE PREVIOUS CONVERSATION THAT YOU HAD. IF WE TALKED ABOUT FUCKING YOU PLAN IT OUT BASED ON THAT. IF WE SPOKE ABOUT YOU WANTING A RELATIONSHIP WE SPEAK ABOUT THAT. IT'S NOT MAPPING OUT THE WHOLE CONVO...JUST THE FOUNDATION. REMEMBER WE ARE CONTROL FREAKS. IF WE ARE NOT IN CONTROL AS A MAN WE ARE NOT A MAN....OR AT LEAST THAT'S HOW WE'RE RAISED.
6. Guys go crazy over a girl's smile.
IF SHE HAS A KD AUBERT SMILE. BUT IF SHE HAS PLAQUE BUILD UP OR SMOKED A COUPLE OF HER TEETH OUT IT'S A PROBLEM. AS YOU CAN SEE ON MY FRIENDS LIST (FOR THOSE THAT ACTUALLY CAN) MOST OF THE LADIES HAVE GOOD SMILES. JUST THAT SOME ARE JUST CONSUMED WITH BITTERNESS THAT THEY DON'T. REMEMBER A SMILE IS A WINDOW TO YOU SOUL.
7. Guys will do anything just to get you to notice him.
UM..WE'RE NOT WOMEN. THE BOTTOM LINE IS IF I'M INTERESTED IN A WOMAN I'M WALKING STRAIGHT UP TO HER. WHAT I SAY MAYBE DIFFERENT IF I'M LIKE "OH SHIT STACEY DASH IS OVER THERE"...I MAY WALK OVER, OPEN MY MOUTH AND A CUP OF WATER MAY DRIP OUT...
8. Guys hate it when you talk about your ex-boyfriend or ex love-interest. Unless they're goin for the let-her-complain-to-you-and-then-have-her-realize-how-wonderful-and-nice-you-are method.
EXACTLY...SOMEONE HAS BEEN SELLING GOVERNMENT SECRETS AGAIN. THE BOTTOM LINE IS THE AGENDA. I WANT YOU AS MY WOMAN....EXPLOIT THE FLAWS OF THE EX. YOUR MAN WAS LOUSY BETWEEN THE SHEETS....DO EXACTLY THE SAME THINGS YOU COMPLAINED ABOUT AND MORE. LOGIC....
9. A guy who likes you wants to be the only guy you talk to.
YEAH....WHY THE FUCK WOULD I WANT YOU HOLLERING AT TOM, DICK AND HAKIM? I MEAN NOT IN A JEALOUS WAY LIKE DON'T TALK TO YOUR FRIEND OF 25 YEARS, BUT DON'T TELL ME THAT HE'S OVER AT YOUR HOUSE MORE THAN I AM...
10. Boyfriends need to be reassured often that they're still loved.
WELL NOT LIKE A WOMAN NEEDS TO, BUT I NEED TO KNOW TO PLAN MY PARACHUTE PLAN. IF THINGS AREN'T CONSISTENT I'M ONTO THE NEXT THING. GUYS DON'T MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE WOMEN DO LIKE STAY IN A RELATIONSHIP WHEN YOU KEEP BUMPING YOUR EYE INTO THE BANISTER. IF IT'S NOT WORKING AND ADJUSTMENTS CAN'T BE MADE....YOU'LL RECEIVE A POST CARD....
11. Don't talk about your guy friends to your boyfriend.
LIKE I SAID BEFORE...I'M NOT SAYING DON'T TALK ABOUT YOUR FRIEND HAKIM OF 26 YEARS, BUT DON'T HAVE A 2 HOUR CONVERSATION ABOUT HIM. THAT WILL LEAD ME TO ASSUME YOU GUYS ARE FUCKING AND I NEED TO START FUCKING YOUR BEST FRIEND OR SISTER. YOU TURN ON THAT DORMANT FISHING MECHANISM AGAIN BY DOING THAT. BY THE WAY JUST TO LET YOU KNOW....THE BEST FRIEND OR SISTER FUCK ISN'T OUT OF CONVENIENCE OR JUST BEING FUCKED UP...IT'S BECAUSE WE KNOW THEY ALREADY KNOW OUR NUANCES BECAUSE YOU KEEP BLABBERING TO THEM ABOUT US....HENCE A FEW DAYS SAVED....
12. Guys get jealous easily.
YES...IF IT'S SOMEONE WE CARE ABOUT. THE BOTTOM LINE IS BEING WANTED. OF COURSE NO ONE WANTS TO BE LONELY, BUT IF YOU ACT A FOOL...I ACT A FOOL WHILE MAINTAINING MY INTEGRITY.
13. Guys are more emotional than they'd like people to think.
WE ARE RAISED TO BE EMOTIONLESS TO PROTECT AND PROVIDE FOR OUR FAMILIES. EMOTIONS ARE CONJURED WHEN WE DEAL WITH THE EMOTIONAL BEINGS....WOMEN. WHY DO YOU THINK MUSIQ WROTE THAT SONG?
14. Giving a guy a hanging message like "You know what?!..uh...nevermind.." would make him jump to a conclusion that is far from what you are thinking. And he'll assume he did something wrong and he'll obsess about it trying to figure it out.
FUCK YEAH..BECAUSE MOST WOMEN AREN'T STRAIGHTFORWARD. UM...NOTHING? BITCH WHAT'S THE PROBLEM? I DO 23 HOUR A DAY 161 HOUR WORK WEEKS AND THE ACTUAL MOMENT I'M CONSCIOUS I AND TRYING TO WATCH FAMILY GUY I DON'T WANT TO WORRY ABOUT WHAT THAT NOTHING IS. DID I GET YOU PREGNANT? DID YOU TRY EXTASY FOR THE FIRST TIME AND HAD AN ORGY WITH ALL YOUR GIRLFRIENDS THAT I WOULD HAVE CHOPPED MY LEFT HAND OFF TO BE APART OF? WHAT...IS IT? JUST SAY IT BECAUSE I DON'T WANT ANYTHING TO BE WRONG ESPECIALLY WHEN I L WORD YOU.
15. Guys are good flatterers when courting but they usually stammer when they talk to a girl they really like.
KINDA....WHEN THERE IS A WOMAN YOU ACTUALLY LIKE TO MAKE YOUR FUTURE WIFE AND BABY MOMMA YOU THINK ABOUT HOW TO ATTACK HER. YOU MAY LOAD THE JUMPOFF PROGRAM (MATRIX REFERENCE FOR THE SLOOOWW MINDED) AND TRY TO STRAIGHT BEAT FROM CONVO AND RUN INTO REAL WIFEY MATERIAL THAT TESTS/IMPRESSES YOU BECAUSE SHE'S ON YOUR LEVEL OF INTELLIGENCE. HENCE THE SLIGHT PAUSE...YOU KNOW? "WOW SHE'S NOT A BIRD".
16. Guys hate asking parents for money to buy girls presents. So they come up with ideas like saving their lunch money for a week. But it never works because guys are always hungry so they end up asking the parents for money anyway.
WHAT GUY IS ASKING THEIR PARENTS FOR MONEY? THIS WAS WRITTEN BY A 17 YEAR OLD. A GROWN UP...DEPENDING ON THE VIBE OF THE SITUATION IS TAKING OUT A 35% APR ZALES CARD TO LOCK THAT DOOOOWWN.
17. Girls are guys' weaknesses.
AGAIN HIGH SCHOOLER....WOMEN ARE MENS' WEAKNESS BASED ON THE FLAVOR AND FRESHNESS OF THE PRODUCT....
18. Guys are very open about themselves.
FUCKING RIGHT. WHAT'S ALL THESE SUBLIMINAL CUES I GOT TO LEARN IN THE 2ND GRADE. IF SHE DOES THE HAIR FLIP AND THE ZIPPER TUG JUMP ON HER ASS. COME ON IF YOU LIKE ME AND DON'T FEEL LIKE WALKING ALL THE WAY OVER TO GET TURNED DOWN AT LEAST MEET ME HALF WAY IF I SMILE BACK. YOU'RE ON ONE SIDE AND I'M ON THE OTHER...TELL YOUR FRIENDS TO LEAVE YOU FOR A SECOND OR I'LL MEET YOU AT THE BAR....
19. It's good to test a guy first before you trust him. But don't let him wait too long.
DEFINITELY WAITING TOO LONG IS AN ISSUE BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE TIME TO WASTE. IN TERMS OF TESTING THAT'S CHILDISH. THE WAY TO GAUGE A MAN'S CHARACTER IS THROUGH THE WAY HE EXPRESSES AND CARRIES HIMSELF. IF YOU GET A VIBE THAT HE IS SCUM MOVE FORWARD...NEXT QUESTION.
20. Your best friend, whom your boyfriend seeks help from about his problems with you may end up being admired by your boyfriend.
SHOULDN'T THAT BE BEST FRIEND?
21. If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to listen to him. You don't need to give advice.
DAMN RIGHT. YOU HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS OUT THERE, REGARDLESS IF THEY'RE 18 OR 40 THAT THINK THAT A MAN IS WEAK OR GAY BECAUSE HE EXPRESSES HIMSELF. THE WHOLE POINT OF THE DATING AND SKATING PROCESS IS TO FIND THAT ONE WOMAN THAT WILL ALLOW HIM TO WALK OVER TO THE COUCH, PUT HIS HEAD ON HIS WOMAN'S LAP AND SPEAK HIS MIND. I MEAN THAT'S THE REASON HE ALSO THREW YOU OFF THE BED DURING HAPPY HOUR. A MAN NEEDS TO RELEASE THE STRESS OF HOLDING SOCIETY AND HIS FAMILY ON HIS SHOULDERS...
22. A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases you.
UMM....ARE WE IN JUNIOR HIGH PASSING OUT IF YOU LIKE ME NOTES? IF A GUY LIKES YOU HE WILL WALK HIS ASS OVER TO YOU AND START A CONVERSATION: IN A BAR/CLUB/LOUNGE HE WILL WALK OVER AND ASK YOU IF YOU WANT A DRINK OR WHY YOU'RE NOT DANCING, IN CHUUCH HE WILL WONDER WHY THE COLLECTION PLATE IS OVERFLOWING. BEING LIKED IS EXPRESSED WHERE YOU KNOW IT. PUT IT LIKE THIS....IF YOUR HIS PHONE CALL ON FRIDAYS AND SATURDAYS AND YOU'RE GOING SOMEWHERE OTHER THAN HIS HOUSE OR THE TELLY...HE LIKES YOU. NEXT QUESTION.....
23. Guys love you more than you love them if they are serious in your relationships.
WHAT KIND OF SHIT IS THIS? IF THERE'S A MUTUAL LOVE THEN YOU WILL WITNESS THE SERIOUSNESS. IF I'M IN A RELATIONSHIP WHERE I FEEL LIKE I'M PUTTING IN TOO MUCH OR FEEL WHIPPED I'M GONNA TAP DANCE MY ASS OVER TO THE NEXT WOMAN AND WHIP HER ASS (SEXUAL...NOT DOMESTIC VIOLENCE REFERENCE..LOL).
24. Guys will brag about anything.
NO.....WE ONLY BRAG WHEN IT'S WORTH IT OR BOOSTS PUBLIC IMAGE. OTHER THAN THAT WE DON'T TALK ABOUT BROTHER JOHNSON.
25. Guys use words like hot or cute to describe girls. We rarely use beautiful.If a guy uses that, he likes you a whole hell of a lot.
SEE...THIS IS SOME 13 YEAR OLD SHIT. WHAT GROWN ASS MAN SAYS A WOMAN IS HOT OR CUTE? NOW IF SHE IS A CUTIE OKAY..SHE'S CUTE, BUT I APPLY THAT TO YOUNGER GIRLS. IF I AM REFERENCING AN ATTRACTIVE WOMAN SHE IS EITHER A. ATTRACTIVE B. BEAUTIFUL OR C. ENGAGING....YOU FUCKERS NEED TO GRADUATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL. AND IF I'M INTERESTED...ALL I'M GOING TO SAY IS....I LIKE THE WAY YOU CARRY YOURSELF....LETS START DATING.
26. No matter how much guys talk about asses and boobs, personality is key.
DEFINITELY...WHAT'S THE SENSE OF HAVING AN ASS BIG ENOUGH TO PLACE THANKSGIVING DINNER ON OR TITIES BIG ENOUGH TO QUENCH THE THIRSTS OF A THIRD WORLD NATION WHEN YOU HAVE NO PERSONALITY? OKAY MR. JOHNSON WILL SALUTE TO ATTENTION ONLY BUT SO MANY TIMES BECAUSE OF BABY OIL AND WHIP CREAM. CHEMISTRY IS THE REASON WHY SO MANY RELATIONSHIPS LAST OR FAIL. IF YOU'RE ON THAT "I'M A STAR" SHIT YOU WILL FAIL.
27. Guys learn from experience not from the romance books that girls read and take as their basis of experience.
YOU FINALLY GOT ONE RIGHT. ROMANCE NOVELS FEED INTO WOMEN'S CINDERELLA COMPLEX. MOST WOMEN THAT WERE EXPOSE TO THIS THINK THAT THEY'RE GOING TO MEET SOME TALL, DARK AND HANDSOME DUDE THAT HAS A BLACK CARD AND A RED CARD AND WILL FLY THEM OUT TO HIS DESERTED ISLAND AND POKE THEM OUT BECAUSE HE'S TALL. WE UNDERSTAND THAT WE MIGHT FIND HAPPINESS WITH A ONE EYED MIDGET NAMED SALLY.....THAT HAS ALL THE CHARACTERISTICS THAT WEREN'T PRESENT IN OUR PREVIOUS RELATIONSHIPS/JUMPOFFS.
28. Guys worry about the thin line between being compassionate and being whipped.
YEAH....
29. Guys think WAY too much. One small thing a girl does, even if she doesn't notice it can make the guy think about it for hours, trying to figure out what it meant.
WELL IF YOU DAMN WOMEN WOULD LET ME KNOW WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND I WOULDN'T HAVE TO WASTE PRECIOUS TIME WORRYING ABOUT SHIT. THAT'S WHY YOU GUYS LIVE LONGER THAN US.
30. Guys seek for advice from girls not other guys. Because most guys think alike, so if one guy's confused, then we're all confused.
THIS WAS OBVIOUSLY WRITTEN BY A 12 YEAR OLD GIRL. GUYS ARE HARDWIRED IN SIMILAR WAYS...THE CENTRAL THING BEING LOGIC, BUT WE ASK FOR ADVICE FROM SEASONED MEN. IF I'M THAT COOL I MAY ASK YOUR POPS SOME QUESTIONS OR A DUDE THAT I KNOW THAT GOT MARRIED. THE ONLY REASON I ASK A WOMAN ABOUT ANYTHING IS ABOUT SOMETHING THAT IS UNIVERSALLY APPEALING TO ALL WOMEN. OKAY...LET ME GET HER THOSE CHLOE SHOES OR LET ME CALL HER ON HER JOB AND TELL HER I'VE TAKE THE LIBERTY OF HOLLER AT HER BOSS TO GIVE HER THE REST OF THE WEEK OFF AND FLY HER OUT TO FRANCE.....WHATEVER...
31. Any guy could write out a rulebook or advice book for flirting, but no guy can write out a book about relationships.
WE DON'T NEED A BOOK ON RELATIONSHIPS. WE JUST NEED FUCKING COMMUNICATION. IF YOU SPEND YOUR TIME TELLING ME NOTHINGS WRONG INSTEAD OF TELLING ME WHEN YOU WANT IT, HOW YOU WANT IT AND WHERE YOU WANT IT (AND I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT SEX) THEN THINGS WILL WORK. THERE ARE 15 MILLION RELATIONSHIP BOOKS FOR WOMEN TO UNDERSTAND MEN, BUT THERE'S NOTHING COMPLEXED ABOUT US. COMPLEXITY HAS BEEN BUILT FROM MISGUIDED WOMEN. MEN ARE OPEN BOOKS. ALL I GIVE A SHIT ABOUT IS I HAVE A WARM MEAL ON THE TABLE AFTER A LONG DAY, A ROOF OVER MY HEAD, SOME GOOD NOOKIE AND SOMEONE TO TALK TO ABOUT THE FINANCIAL MOVES I MAKE AND MY STRESSES..WHY WOULD I NEED AN ADVICE BOOK?
32. Try to be as straightforward as possible.
THAT'S THE ONLY WAY YOU SHOULD BE. WHAT SHOULD BE SAID: "YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL AND I WANT YOU TO JOIN MY LIFE"..THAT'S IT.....
33. If the guy does something stupid in front of the girl, he will think about it for the next couple days or until the next time he spends time with the girl.
YEAH...BUT IT'S NOT JUST WOMEN....IT'S LIFE.
34. If a guy looks unusually calm and laid back, he's probably faking it and is spazzing inside.
SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!! I AM CALM AND LAID BACK AND I DON'T FAKE ANYTHING. NERVOUSNESS OR CONFUSING WILL EVENTUALLY MAKE IT'S WAY TO THE SURFACE. IT JUST DEPENDS ON THE INDIVIDUAL. SOME MEN CONTINUE TO STAY CALM SOME RUN AROUND LIKE THEIR CLOTHES ARE ON FIRE....
35. When a guy says he is going crazy about the girl, he really is. Guys rarely say that.
WELL I WOULDN'T SAY GOING CRAZY....BUT I COULD SAY YEAH IF I'M HAVING A JODECI MOMENT IT'S WORTH IT.
36. When a guy asks you to leave him alone, he's just actually saying, "Please come and listen to me."
NO THAT'S SOMETHING A WOMAN DOES. IF I NEED SOMEONE TO LISTEN TO ME I WILL ASK "DO YOU HAVE A MINUTE?" NOT PLEASE COME AND LISTEN. THIS WAS OBVIOUSLY WRITTEN BY A YOUNG 13 YEAR OLD CLOSET HOMOSEXUAL THAT LIVES IN HIS MOMS ATTIC...
37. Guys don't really have final decisions.
AGAIN....13 YEAR OLD.....THE REASON DECISIONS ARE "FINAL" ARE SO WE CAN KEEP THE EQUILIBRIUM OF ORDER GOING...BUT IT'S NOT TO SAY WE WON'T BE FLEXIBLE AND MAKE SOMETHING WORK...
38. If a guy starts to talk seriously, listen to him. It doesn't happen that often, so when it does, you know something's up.
SOME OF THESE THINGS ARE FROM A WOMEN'S PERSPECTIVE. IF I HAVE SOMETHING SERIOUS TO SAY...YES I NEED YOUR UNDIVIDED ATTENTION...IF I DON'T AND IT HAPPENS CONSISTENTLY...I WILL BE AT CHARLENE'S HOUSE DIGGING HER OUT AND THEN DISCUSSING MY PROBLEM OR REASON FOR SERIOUS CONVERSATION. WHOEVER WROTE THIS MAKES IT SEEM LIKE MEN ARE CHILDISH. IF YOU HAVE CONFLICT IN YOUR LIFE CHECK OUT MY STATE OF THE UNION ADDRESS OR PAY ME $50 AN HOUR FOR COUNSELING...
39. If a best guy friend seems to avoid you or is never around when you're with your boyfriend, he's probably jealous and likes you.
NO...IT'S A CALLED RESPECT. MAYBE IN SOME CASES, BUT WHY WOULD I BE IN THE ROOM WHEN MY MAN IS TONGUING DOWN HIS WOMAN? OR IN THE CONTEXT OF THE QUESTION WHY WOULD I STILL BE SITTING THERE WHEN YOUR MAN IS FONDLING YOU?
40. When a guy tells you that you are beautiful, don't say you aren't. It makes them want to stop telling you because they don't want you to disagree with them.
NO IT MAKES ME STOP BECAUSE YOU ARE A LOW SELF ESTEEM BITCH. EXCEPT IT AS A COMPLIMENT, BUT IF I'VE TOLD YOU THIS 100 DAYS IN A ROW AND YOU'RE STILL LIKE I'M NOT...THEN YOU NEED A PRESCRIPTION FOR ANTI-DEPRESSANTS...
41.When a guy looks at you for longer than a second, he's definitely thinking something.
*SMACK HEAD* WHEN A GUY LOOKS AT YOU FOR LONGER THAN A COUPLE OF SECONDS HE'S THINK A. THAT BITCH HAS A PHAT ASS/BIG ASS TITIES B. I NEED TO GO AND TALK TO HER...SHE LOOKS SOMEONE I'D LIKE TO TALK TO OR C. THIS CHICK HAS A BIG ASS GRAVY STAIN ON THE FRONT OF HER DRESS AND NEEDS TO COME BACK TO EARTH AND CLEAN THAT UP...
42. Guys like femininity not feebleness.
WHAT AM I GAY? WHY WOULDN'T I WANT FEMININITY? I AM NOT DEALING WITH A WOMAN THAT IS AS MANISH AS ME..I'M SORRY. FOR THOSE DEEP VOICED PROJECT CHICKS, I THINK THEY HAVE THAT UNDER THE LAYER OF ALL THAT STREET SHIT THEY KICK, BUT I AM NOT DEALING WITH A WOMAN THAT MAKES ME FEEL THAT I AM SPENDING A NIGHT AT ELTON JOHN'S HOUSE.
43. Guys don't like girls who punch harder than they do.
WELL YEAH....BECAUSE THEN I'LL START THINKING YOU USED TO BE ALBERT 2 YEARS AGO...
44. A guy has more problems than you can see with your naked eyes.
IMMATURE ASS SURVEY WRITER......WE HAVE THE WEIGHT OF SOCIETY TO MAINTAIN. WE HAVE PLENTY OF PROBLEMS. THE GOVERNMENT FORCING US TO GET 4 JOBS BECAUSE OF CHILD SUPPORT, OUR WOMAN NOT SAYING WHAT SHE THINKS....THESE ARE ISSUES MAN.....
45. Don't be a snob. Guys can be intimidated and give up easily.
NO!!!! THE REASON I DON'T DEAL WITH THAT IS BECAUSE YOUR UGLY MENTALLY, BUT I WOULD TAKE IT AS A CHALLENGE. WHAT THE FUCK..SO BECAUSE VANESSA LOOK AT ME LIKE I'M A PESSANT THAT I SHOULD JUST PUT MR. JOHNSON BETWEEN MY LEGS AND WALK OFF? NO WHAT'S WRONG...WHY ARE YOU SO ANGRY OR SNOBBISH AND IF IT'S A PROBLEM YOU'LL NEVER GET THE ATTENTION YOU WANT WITH THAT ATTITUDE. I MEAN SERIOUSLY....IF YOU WERE ON SOME LINDSAY LOHAN....PARIS HILTON SHIT BECAUSE YOU CAN AFFORD TO...HOW WOULD YOU GET THE MAN WITH THE BIG BANK AND YOU KNOW...TO RAM YOU OUT IF YOU AREN'T FIELDING ANY WORDS? YOU'RE JUST BITTER......
46. Everything in moderation. Put on makeup, wear perfume. Just not too much.
YEAH...I HATE WOMEN THAT WEAR TOO MUCH MAKEUP AND PURFUME. YOU NEED TO LET THE COUNTER WOMEN SHOW YOU HOW TO APPLY IT OR GET ON A WEBSITE....ESPECIALLY MY BLACK QUEENS. CHICKS BE LOOKING LIKE DIONNE WARRICK PUTTING ON ALL THAT FOUNDATION AND EYELINER. UMM...AIN'T YOU 18?
47. Guys talk about girls more than girls talk about guys.
WRONG AGAIN....IF WE'RE TALKING ABOUT WOMEN WE ARE EITHER DECIDING WHO WE'RE GOING TO FUCK OR WHO HAS SENSIBLE CONVERSATION TO BE IN THE STABLE OF HANG OUT PARTNERS OR EVENTUAL WIVES....
48. Guys hate rejection, but they hate being led on even more.
CORRECT.....REJECTION IS A PART OF GROWTH. IF YOU GET REJECTED AND GO HANG YOURSELF IN A CLOSET YOU DESERVED TO DIE. YOU KNOW HOW MANY WOMEN REJECT ME IN THE CLUB? BUT WHAT DO I DO...I KEEP IT PUSHING....I DON'T CARE IF YOU DON'T WANT TO BE SECOND BEST OR YOUR A CREW OF 12 SISTERS AND COUSINS I WLL WALK AROUND IN A CIRCLE UNTIL SOMEBODY COMES TO THEIR SENSES. BEING LED ON IS A SIGN OF IMMATURITY AND IGNORANCE....I LOOK AT IT AS YOU EITHER WANT ME OR YOU DON'T. DON'T HAVE ME TAKING YOU ON DATES IF YOU WEREN'T LOOKING AT PUTTING OUT OR MOVING FORWARD TO GREENER PASTURES IF THAT'S NOT YOUR INTENTION. I'M ABOUT KNOWING WOMAN THAT CAN PROVIDE MY NEEDS AND VICE VERSA. IF YOU'RE NOT A VESSLE FOR FUN....GO SIT IN A CORNER SOMEWHERE...
49. If you are going to reject a guy, just do it. Don't say they are like a brother or just good friends, it just hurts even more. Tell them that you aren't interested in a relationship and they will respect you.
YEAH....BUT YOU SHOULD KNOW WHAT YOU WANT STRAIGHT UP. I DON'T BEAT AROUND THE BUSH. IF I WANT A RELATIONSHIP AND YOU WANT ONE TOO LETS HOOK UP. IF YOU JUST WANT TO BE PUT TO SLEEP LET IT BE KNOWN. IF YOU WANT SOME FOOL TO BUY YOU SHIT...THAT'S NOT ME...BUT YOU CAN LET ME KNOW.....IT'S ALL ABOUT LETTING EACH OTHER KNOW EACH OTHERS AGENDAS. I AM NOT GOING TO FUCK SOME WOMAN THAT IS TIRED OF FUCKING MISCELLANEOUS PEOPLE AND WANTS TO GET MARRIED AND HAVE BABIES. IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE AND LEAVES ROOM FOR BITTERNESS.
50. Guys really think that girls are strange and have unpredictable decisions and are MAD confusing but somehow are drawn even more to them.
WOMEN ARE A HANDFUL. A LOT OF WOMEN (NOT ALL) ARE HEADACHES BECAUSE YOUR HEAD WILL EXPLODE LIKE NEIL ON DAVE CHAPPELLE TRYING TO FIGURE THINGS OUT. I AM NOT DRAWN TO PROBLEMS I AM DRAWN TO A CHALLENGE THAT'S WORTH IT. I.E. STEPHANIE IS ARROGANT, BUT I'M GOING TO TALK THAT SHIT TO MAKE HER SMILE. MY LIFE IS NOT ALL ABOUT THE CLUB, BUT DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY WOMEN I GOT GOING BECAUSE OF HOW I APPROACHED THEM? MAD WOMEN...HAVE SAID I'M SPECIAL AND I KNOW I AM NOW YOU NEED TO DO WHAT IT TAKES TO BECOME A PART OF..MY WORLD.....
51. A guy would give his left nut to be able to read a girl's mind for a day.
WELL I DON'T KNOW ABOUT MY LEFT NUT, BUT WHAT I CAN SAY IS WOMEN NEED TO START ACTING LIKE WOMEN. IF YOU LIKE THAT MICHAEL EALY/REGGIE BUSH LOOKING BROTHER LET HIM KNOW. WHY DO I HAVE TO MAX OUT MY CREDIT CARDS AND WASTE WEEKS OF MY LIFE TRYING TO FIGURE YOU OUT? LET ME KNOW WHY YOU WANT ME...I'LL DO THE SAME AND LETS TAKE IT FROM THERE. I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR GAMES. THIS ISN'T THE 4TH GRADE...
52. No guy can handle all his problems on his own. He's just too stubborn to admit it.
IT'S NOT STUBBORNESS. IT'S CALLED BEING A MAN AND NOT HAVING MATURE PEOPLE AROUND HIM. IF MY WOMAN, HANG OUT BUDDY OR FEMALE FRIENDS AREN'T WILLING TO AT LEAST LISTEN TO OR ALLOW ME TO DELEGATE A PROBLEM TO THEM THEN I DON'T FUCKING NEED THEM. THERE ARE TOO MANY BEAUTIFUL WOMEN OUT THERE THAT WOULD GIVE UP THEIR LEFT COOCHIE LIP FOR THAT OPPORTUNITY.
53. Not all guys are assholes. Just because ONE is a jackass doesnt mean he represents ALL of us.
PREACH.....THE WOMEN THAT MADE POOR DECISIONS AND DEALT WITH SOME LOSER ARE THE ONES PUTTING OUT THE MEN AIN'T SHIT NONSENSE AND BECOMING LESBIANS. THE DUDES THAT YOU THOUGHT WERE SOFT OR CORNY WERE THE EXACT ONES YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN FUCKING WITH. BUT I GUESS DONKEYS NEED TO BE TOGETHER.
54. We don't like girls who are too skinny.
AGAIN...13 YEAR OLD DL BROTHER.....NOW OKAY IF SHE'S ON SOME SKELETAL SHIT LIKE NICOLE RITCHIE USED TO BE THEN YEAH. I WOULD BE SCARED I MIGHT BREAK HER RIB WHILE DANCING OR PULL HER LEG OFF WHILE FUCKING, BUT I'D BE CLOSED MINDED IF I DIDN'T THINK SKINNY WOMEN ARE SEXY....
55. We love it when girls talk about there boobs.
NO....WE LOVE IT WHEN WOMEN HAVE THEIR BOOBS IN OUR MOUTHS AFTER WE FINISHED TALKING....GET FACTS STRAIGHT PATNA... (WITH THE FAIZON LOVE EMPHASIS..LOL)
56. Always make sure you know what kind of stuff your getting into before making out with a guy ...like whether it's a one time deal or not ....
AGAIN IMMATURE..I AM NOT GOING TO SWAP SPIT WITH SOMEONE THAT WANTS TO FALL IN LOVE AND HAVE BABIES. FIRST OFF I WANT TO KNOW IF I'M GOING TO CATCH SOMETHING FROM THIS WOMAN. SECONDLY....WHY AM I MAKING OUT WITH HER WITHOUT KNOWING WHAT SHE WANTS? IF I WANT A JUMPOFF I'M GOING TO MAKE SURE THAT I'M FUCKING A JUMPOFF MINDED WOMAN. I DON'T WANT TO BREAK ANOTHER WOMAN'S HEART AND HAVE HER SITTING AT HER FRIENDS HOUSE TALKING ABOUT FUCK MEN AND LETS TRY THIS LESBIAN THING....
57. Believe it or not shy guys are the most easiest to talk to..it may not seem right but trust me they will start opening up like books after you just ask them questions about their lives and unoticable tell them about yours.
BELIEVE IT OR NOT? I WON'T EVEN COMMENT ON THIS DUMB SHIT...
58. When a guy hits your butt it means that he wants you sexually
OKAY? WOULDN'T I BE SMACKING THAT ASS WHEN I'M DOING SOMETHING SEXUALLY? I'M NOT GOING TO SMACK A GIRL/WOMAN IN THE ASS JUST FOR THE HELL IT. FOR US ADULTS IT'S CALLED SEXUAL HARASSMENT OR GETTING FUCKED UP BY HER HUSBAND THAT WAS BEHIND YOU OR HER NFL LINESMAN BROTHER THAT WAS COMING BACK FROM THE BAR WITH THE DRINKS....
59. Even if they refuse it all guys are ticklish on the ribs.
NAH..AND WHY ARE YOU TICKLING ME. IF WE ARE TOGETHER WE NEED TO BE TALKING ABOUT THIS RELATIONSHIP THANG OR FUCKING. NOTHING ELSE....
60. Guys love neck rubs and if he lets you keep doing it ..it means that he really likes you or his neck really hurts.
WELL FROM ALLTHIS DAMN STRESS PON MI MIND I NEED A MASSAGE..AND IT DOESN'T HAVE SHIT TO DO WITH BEING LIKED. THAT'S CALLED KNOWING WHAT THE FUCK YOUR DOING....
61. Guys will test the waters to see how far they can get with you. Even if he doesn't intend to it will happen. Know how far it is you want to let him go and he will respect that...after you let him know a couple times.
A COUPLE OF TIMES? OKAY....YEAH I WANT TO TEST THE WATER..A COUPLE OF TIMES. IF IT'S NOT WORTH AFTER THAT I'M OUT LIKE A MAN HIDING IN THE WOODS FROM CHILD SUPPORT AGENTS....
62. When a guy sacrifices his sleep and health just to be with you, he really likes you and wants to be with you as much as possible.
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