Post by brockandsable on Feb 23, 2007 16:53:45 GMT 1
The NIN Horror Show
”Hello everyone and welcome to the first installment of ‘The NIN Horror Show’. I am your host, Ninny Horror, and I am glad that you are able to join me for my debut. This show isn’t about studio audiences, or over-inflated celebrities. It’s about one on one with the important people on this Internet message board.
“So we won’t be doing any interviews with the JT Blade’s or the Reece Somers’ or the Dan “The Dragon” Taylors: No. We will only get insight on the people who actually matter on here. The people who participate and give us their side of the story.
“And just for the record I want to let all of you know that I do drugs. Lots of drugs. Drugs are good for you because they allow you to escape the reality of life by melting lots and lots of your memory cells. Not only will your brain go to shit like Stare’s career, you’ll also be seen as an outcast. But the high is too good to be true. Now let me put on my thick, fucking coke bottles and introduce you to our first guest.
My first guest is a man who has just about had it up to here with being labeled as an Arab man. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, let me be the first to introduce to you, Aladdin!”
*crickets*
”Thanks for having me on the show, Ninny.”
”Let’s cut to the chase you little snadnigger, what’s all this hooplah about you not wanting to be referred to as an Arab man? You have brown skin, dark hair and for heaven sakes your name is fucking ALADDIN! Why can’t we refer to you as an Arab sandnigger?”
”I am not Arab! Fuck! I come from the country of Sri Lanka. I speak Tamil. Technically I am Asian. I am not a fucking Arab! I am not a sandnigger or Muhammad Jihad or ALALALALALALALA!!!! or anything like that! I am fucking Sri Lankan!”
”Ladies and gentlemen, let the record show that Aladdin is not an Arab, rather he is an Asian. WINK WINK. It’s almost like that pig on the farm who hangs out with the horses and chickens thinking he’s one of them. But that’s okay, we can play along.”
”it’s not funny anymore NIN. I am actually growing quite tired of it. But in all actuality, I knew this day would come. Stare has been owned in a thread. Soul Reaper has been owned. For Christ sake how many times will E2 use that “Let Soul Reaper inspect your receipt on the way out of Wal-Mart” joke already? Fuck.”
”I can see there is no pleasing you, Al. So what I would like to do is refer to a bunch of pictures and let you decide which one we can repeatedly use to refer to you. Since you say you are not an Arab WINK WINK, we will use pics that are the furthest from such culture. Let it begin. I’ll show the pic and you just let me know if it’s acceptable or not. Okay?”
”Man, you’ve got some thick, fucking coke bottles.”
”No.”
”No.”
”No.”
”No.”
”Fuck no! Christ, that’s an ugly bastard!”
”I don’t think you’re hearing me, Ninny. I am not a fucking A-Rab. I am Sri Lankan. Put up some better fucking pictures or else I’m gonna fucking pop you!”
”Sorry to offend you, Osama, but let the record show that Aladdin here would like the producers to put up some pictures that better represent the Sri Lanka culture. ARABIAN NIGHTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LIKE ARABIAN DAYS!!!!!!!”
”No.”
”No.”
”No, Ninny.”
”Fuck you, Ninny.”
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