BLITZ! PREVIEW (9/04/06) --- DEADLINE: 9/08 @ 9pm

[Stare]

LIVE from the Telewest Arena
Newcastle, England

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"Watching You Die" blares over the speakers as the camera's zoom and whip around the Telewest Arena. The fans are on their feet as the music cuts. There is a brief silence as "Man In the Box" hits. Chilly Willy walks out to many boo's as he motions for the fans to wait as he steps back behind the curtain. He re-emerges with a Canadian Flag that he is waving proudly through the air. The fans boo him on as he begins to make his way towards the ring. He walks up the steps and holds the flag up and then steps into the ring as he rests the flag over his shoulder. He is handed a mic as he looks around the arena as his music cuts. He raises the mic to his mouth and speaks

Chilly Willy: . . . OHHHH CANADA!!!!!

The crowd boos as Chilly laughs a bit

Chilly Willy: So, this is the third week of Blitz!'s invasion of England, and I have to be honest with you people . . .this country blows nut!

The crowd boos very loudly as Chilly smirks

Chilly Willy: But, I'm not out here to waste my time on talking about this country or the people in it, I'm out here to bring up something else. You see, I've had some problems recently. I've been in a bit of a slump. At Sole Survivor, I lost to a man who could only be described as one of the biggest disgraces to step into this ring, and that man is Vegeta.

The crowd cheers Vegeta's name as Chilly sarcastically smirks and continues

Chilly Willy: Yes yes, I know you love Vegeta. But, after that fluke, I had a match last week against JT Blade, Bishop, and Evenflow for the Fanatic Championship. And, somehow, I was screwed out of winning that belt too. I mean, it's clear that I was the aggresser and had him where I wanted him, and I just dont know where I went wrong. But, the point is that I wanted the Fanatic Championship because I have a yearning to hold gold again!

Chilly stands still for a minute and then looks up with a smile

Chilly Willy: And then I realized what was really bothering me all along. I'd like to refresh your all's minds by asking the boys in the back to play a certain part of the promo I cut from last week. Roll it!

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Chilly Willy- Deacon Dolla Bill! Beating you will be a walk in the park. Especially since you have never had any experience winning in a big match situation. Hell I beat the Chamber winner at Sole Survivor for the International championship. Something you could only dream of doing. So I am not even worried about you.

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Chilly Willy looks around the crowd as he nods along

Chilly Willy: That was about midway through my thoughts. Now, let's cut to the end of the promo. Boys, roll it!

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Chilly stops at a souvenir stand and picks up the P2PW Magazine. Reaper is on the cover but Chilly notices something in the corner

Chilly Willy- You see this. I have yet to make the cover of this magazine, but instead. I am relegated to the little space on the corner. The article is about my quest for success but yet the cover story is about Reapers mystique. How fitting. The only Canadian on Blitz and yet, I go unnoticed

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Chilly looks on shaking his head as he speaks

Chilly Willy: I want you to look at this disgrace. This is the cover of the current issue of P2PW Magazine. Show the cover!

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Chilly Willy: I'm in the bottom right corner!? The fuck is that? You see, what has been pissing me off all along was the fact that I KNOW that I can beat Soul Reaper, just like I did in the ladder match, and yet his picture is what is being blown up on the cover? So, I've decided, I want my rematch for the International Title! I know I deserve it! We're 1 and 1 Reaper, so give me what I deserve. I want it, and I want it tonight!

Chilly Willy throws the mic down as he stands waiting impatiently. Nothing happens as Chilly finally begins to head towards the ropes in anger as the lights go out and red fog fills the walk way. "Down" hits as fire shoot up on the ramp. Soul Reaper walks out with the International Title as he makes his way towards the ring. He steps into the ring with Chilly Willy, and grabs a mic as his music cuts. He stands looking at Chilly Willy with a sarcastic expression as he finally speaks

Soul Reaper: Let me get this straight. You are challenging me for the International Title because you view yourself as my equal? Chilly, that's just fucking stupid! You are nowhere near Soul Reaper's league, and the fact that you think I would waste my time on you is insulting. So, to answer your challenge . . . no.

Chilly Willy looks on as Soul Reaper begins to exit

Chilly Willy: Wow, I dont know about the rest of you guys in this arena, but I think Soul Reaper has become nothing more than a fucking chicken!

The crowd looks on as Soul Reaper stops halfway through stepping through the ropes as he steps back in and looks at Chilly Willy. He begins to approach him as "Energy" hits. The fans look on as Barry Bryant walks out to a mixed reaction. He has a mic in his hand as he begins to speak as his music cuts

Barry Bryant: Woah! Guys, come on! You know that neither one of you make the matches, cause that's my job. However, I do like the sound of a part 3 to your all's saga. I mean, Chilly Willy does hold a win over Soul Reaper, and Soul Reaper does hold on over you, Willy. So, I have no problem signing this match for tonight!

The crowd cheers as Chilly looks on with motivation

Barry Bryant: . . . except that I'm not going to. You see, Chilly, it's just like you said, you've been on a slippery slope these past 2 months. You've lost the International Title, then you lost to Vegeta, then you lost your title shot last week. So, one has to ponder, why should I give you a title shot?

Chilly: Barry, if you give me this shot, I am guarantee'ing that I can beat Soul Reaper!

Soul Reaper laughs to himself as he looks back at Chilly as Barry speaks

Barry Bryant: Well, I'll be honest with you Chilly. I would love nothing more than to see Soul Reaper have the living shit kicked out of him!

Soul Reaper looks at Barry as Barry looks on at Soul Reaper

Barry Bryant: That's right Soul Reaper. I'm hearing all these rumors floating around that you're going to choose to go to TNT. I know you make your decision at the Blitz! PPV on which title to go after, but I've heard that TNT is your decision from too many sources for it to not be partially credible. So, you know what? I'm going to make your time left in Blitz! a living Hell!

Soul Reaper looks on at Barry with anger as Barry continues

Barry Bryant: And, fact is, Chilly Willy is the last person that has defeated you, so maybe he is the man to come to now to start your own personal hell!? However, I'm not going to just hand out title shots, so Chilly Willy, I entrusted another man to take out Soul Reaper last week, and he failed to deliver. If you can defeat him tonight and prove that you're a more valuable threat to Soul Reaper, I'll give you your title shot. Tonight, defeat Ecos, and you'll get what you want!

"Energy" hits as Barry Bryant exits through the curtains. Soul Reaper looks back at Chilly Willy, who has already rolled out of the ring. Chilly circles around the ring towards the isle as Soul Reaper just glares at him as we go to our first commercial break

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***"THINNING OUT THE NUMBERS" MATCH***

[/u][/size]
As announced last week, Barry has put newcomer, Ben Jenkins, in a one on one match with Bishop Pastor Deacon Dollar Bill. Barry says that he has not been pleased with Bishop and Ben Jenkins already annoys him, so he has decided that one of them will lose their job here tonight. Who will we never hear from again?
Ben "The Rebel" Jenkins
vs.
Bishop Pastor Deacon Dollar Bill

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Barry Bryant reveals his next "IDEA"[/b][/size]
The idea man promises to announce a spine-tingling Main Event for next week's Blitz!.

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***SINGLES MATCH***[/u][/size]
Tonight, Chilly Willy demanded a title shot against Soul Reaper, but Barry Bryant said that Chilly Willy will have to convince him that he is deserving by defeating the man who lost to Soul Reaper last week, Ecos. If Chilly Willy wins, he will be granted an International Title shot against Soul Reaper. Can he get back on the right track?
Ecos
vs.
"The Canadian Icon" Chilly Willy

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EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW: SoundScream[/b][/size]
Tonight, we look to find out the answers behind why SoundScream delivered a Sound Off to Micko last week. Brittany Keller sits down with SoundScream to get some answers.

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***MAIN EVENT***[/u][/size]
***SINGLES MATCH***[/u][/size]
Last week, we saw NIN Horror and Spackle do a number on Simz backstage. Tonight, Simz gets a chance for some retribution against the man who swung the chair, Spackle. But, with NIN Horror granted his request to be the special enforcer to ensure SoundScream doesn't interfere, the odds are stacked against Simz. Can the #1 Contender pull out the "W"?
Simz
vs.
Spackle
(w/ Special Guest Enforcer: NIN Horror)

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DEADLINE
Friday
September 8th
9 pm (EST)[/center][/b]

[brockandsable]

Does the Blitz! World title ever get defended?

[Stare]

Voting and Promo'ing only.

To answer your question, very seldomly. I've got a match concept for it to be defended in on a Blitz!, but that probably won't happen until after Fever.

[Ben]

Ben Jenkins .VS. Bishop Deacon Dollar Bill- Myself (Ben Jenkins)

Ecos .VS. Chilly Willy- Chilly Willy

Simz .VS. Spackle- Spackle

[Stare]

Ben Jenkins
Chilly Willy
Simz (needs it more)

[Faster Pussycat!]

Ben "The Rebel" Jenkins
Chilly Willy
Spackle


I threw out a challenge to Simz and Scream, E2, so don't think I'm not a fighting champion.

[Ben]

Ben Jenkins is Sitting on a Spinning Leather Chair in his office. He pats his Desk infront of him and Spins in his chair, he opens a Drawer and grabs a Pen, he begins Clicking it

Ben Jenkins: The Years of Training, All the Clicks of a Pen, All the Surgery, Broken Bones and Destroyed Friendships, Are now Coming back to me, but in a Better Form

ben Smirks and Chuckles a bit

Ben Jenkins:See, All the Sacrifices the Rebel has made, are Now Paying off, I am finaly Living my Dream of becoming a P2PW supe...Wait, That Wasnt my dream! my Dream was to Be able to Kick everyone's Sorry ass!

Ben lets out a Groan

Ben Jenkins: It's Sad that I have to Go up Against Someone like Bishop Pastor Deacon Dollar Bill! I mean, This Guy was Pinned by ChillyWilly! ChillyWilly?! It's Freakin ChillyWilly! Bishop is a Pushover, and The Rebel is Going to Push him Over the Edge of the P2PW Mountain!

Ben grins a little bit, but Switches it to a Serious Look

Ben Jenkins:See He is a lost bishop, He was looking for a Lost sheep, But ended up in the P2PW, He Failed miserably over and over again, So Moses Trapped him on a Huge Cliff, which is the P2PW mountain

I Jouryned to this Mountain, and I am Going to Push him off, I will Eliminate him from the P2PW. I am the new God of P2PW, and i ill Prove it in my match, and i will Send Bishop back to his Dirty Ass BarnYard!

Ben Lets out a Big laugh and Continues clicking the Pen, He spins around in the Chair and Winks at the Camera...Scene Fades Black

End

[The Great JT]

Ben "The Rebel" Jenkins
Chilly Willy
Spackle

[Spackle]

Ben
Chilly
Spackle

[Cactus]

Ben

Chilly

Simz

[KillerSundin (Formerly HBK)]

Ben
Chilly Willy
Spackle

Promo To Come Soon.

[_the j-man]

Bishop
Ecos
Simz

[eCo]

Dollar Bill
Myself
Simz

[Stare]

This locks in about 31 hours. We've got one promo, so get 'em in!

[eCo]

The camera setting is in the arena as Just Close Your Eyes hits. Ecos is seen walking down the ramp. He has the mockery of the Canadian flag, with the Ecosian cross in the center of it, instead of the leaf. When Ecos steps into the ring, he starts to wave the flag around a couple of times as the crowd boos, until he picks up a microphone.

Ecos then turns his attention to the crowd.

Ecos: I truly have a problem with this country. *the crowd boos even louder* Now! Now! I’m not saying that this is some godless country; I’m just saying that ever since I walked into this country I GOT ZERO RESPECT!!! Seriously! I tried to spread my righteous words across this county, but I got nothing in return. I didn’t get any respect, I didn’t get any opportunities, and worst of all, NO ONE IS TAKING ME SERIOUS! AND I’M PISSED OFF!!!!!!

Someone in the crowd yells “because you suck LEGOS”

Ecos: SHUT UP! You’re country may seem backwards, but it’s not bad as some other worthless country that I can name *turns his attention to the mockery of the Canadian flag*. People tell me why I have such a problem with Canada, but at the same time my theme music was a rip from a Canadian wrestler. Well the truth is that Christian stole that song from me first!

The crowd boos, as someone yells “bullshit”

Ecos: Oh it’s true! What’s also true is that I will make the Canadian Icon tap out tonight! Just like how Bret FART tapped out on Survivor Series 1997, and yes he DID tap out. No screw job was involved because Bret FART, like all other Canadians SUCK ASS. The whole reason why nothing good ever came to the Canadians was simply because of how they just refused to accept me as their holy savior. I’m embarrassed to even carry this flag, because I just give up on all Canadians. The whole reason why I’m carrying this flag in the first place is because SOME IDIOT BURNED MY OTHER FLAG!!!

As for you Chilly Willy, I’m sick to death of your whining and moaning, and how you claim that you deserve the International title. The only thing you deserve is an eternity in my crucifixion. It’s something like your little Bret FART’s sharpshooter, but more deadly. I should have put you out for good during our first match, but I will just finish the job tonight. Oh! And I do not want any help from any stupid Mexican wrestler, just because he hates Chilly Willy like me and everyone else. So Vegeta, if by any long shot that Chilly is even able to compete after our match, then you can engage in your little Mexico vs Canada feud with him. But before then, I will take him out ON MY OWN! Not like the last match! Got that Vagina- I mean Vegeta?

Ecos laughs at his own joke

Ecos: Seriously now! I WANT NO INTERFERENCE; I want to prove to everyone that I can take on Chilly Willy, with my right arm tied behind my back!

As for you’re country *turns his attention to the flag*, I will show you what I think of your country.

Ecos then peels off the center Ecosian cross off the flag, revealing the Maple Leaf, exposing that he was carrying an actual Canadian Flag.

Ecos: Oh Look, all this time, I was carrying an actual Canadian Flag! Hmm, not only this flag looks like crap, but I think it could use a little redecorating.


Ecos then reaches into his front jacket pocket and takes out a can of spray paint. Ecos smiles as he looks at the flag and the spray paint, while the crowd boos loudly

Ecos: Now I really hope you are watching this! This is what I think of your stupid spineless country Chilly Willy!

Ecos then lays the flag flat down on the ring. He then takes the spray can and sprays paint an Ecosian cross symbol over the flag. As the crowd boos loudly

Ecos: Shut up! Or else I’m going to do the same to the British flag! Hey Chilly Willy! How do you like that! Chilly Willy, my final message to you is this:

Your chances of winning the International Title back is less likely than Owen Hart and the British Bulldog coming back to life.

The crowd erupts into a chorus of boos, as Ecos stands there smiling

*Camera fades*

[Simz]

Dolla

Chilly

Simz

I'll try to get a promo in if i can. With school starting this week, this hasn't come at a great time. It's a new school and all and I've been doing homework all week, so I've had no time for this. Hopefully I'll have time tomorrow, sorry if I can't get it in! Thank all for the votes!

[Simz]

The scene opens to a busy corridor, it has many p2pw staff going back and forwards across the picture. At the end of the corridor there is an open fire escape. The double doors show the car park outside, little can be seen apart from the sun glistening off the car windows. Claudius then appears between the double doors, he is wearing dark sunglasses and has a suit case in his right hand. He walks on down the corridor squeezing past p2pw staff. He stops and looks at a piece of paper in his left hand. He looks up confused and scratching his head.

Claudius
B13? What the hell does that mean.

Claudius taps one of the P2PW staff on he shoulder.

Claudius
Could you please tell me what B13 means. I'm looking for Peter Derrmot's locker room.

P2PW Staff member
B13 is the room number. Simz locker room is straight down the hall then the first right after the lift.

Claudius
Lift?

P2PW Staff member
Elevator then, whatever. You Yanks have different words for everything.

She leaves Claudius and continues on with her work. Claudius straightens himself up, picks up his bag and walks on down the hall.

Claudius
Lift! Jesus Christ, who round here speaks American! All this English terms are pissing me off.

Claudius then counts the room numbers until he gets to one that says 'B13'. He then opens the door to see Simz tapping up is hands.

Simz
Claudius, great to see you back. How did the course go!

Claudius
Went well, just finished it on Friday. I'll get stuck into the O'Haire case as soon as we get back to Derrmot manor.

Simz
No,no. Don't worry about that, you've worked hard for the past fortnight. No need for you to start into anything for a long time. So welcome to England then!

Claudius
Yeah thanks, no offense to you Peter. But this place sucks! The food is disgusting, they use all these stupid terms and their accent is driving me mad! It's bloody awful!

Simz laughs and smiles at Claudius.

Simz
Bloody awful eh?

Claudius
Jesus Christ! You see, it's affecting me already! Ireland is way better than England. I consider it home! Please say there is an Irish leg of this trip. Or at least can it be over soon!

Simz
Only a few weeks Claud, don't worry yourself. Once you get used to this place it's fine. Anyway welcome to your new home my friend, Blitz! The new flagship show of P2PW, and it will not be long until rule this place. Final Verdict is set to be the defining moment of my career! It's nearly there I can feel it!

Claudius
So I have heard, it's only what you deserve Peter. After the whole journey you have went through since Sole Survivor you proved that nothing is impossible from you. I know and everybody else knows that you have been screwed on both occasions that you've had your chance at glory. This is your time, I can feel it!

Simz
Thanks Claud, still. But I'm going in as the underdog, the underdog for goodness sake. After all the things I have done to get to where I am today, after all the things I have done to get to the top of this company! Yet all I am to some people is making up the numbers. It makes me sick! A few bad results Claud, that's all what happened! That's it! That suddenly makes my title shot a joke! Damn that fucking pisses me off!

Simz grabs a piece of clothing off the bench and shoves it in his band. Simz T-Shirt rises at the back to show tapped ribs.

Claudius
What the hell.

Simz
What? Whats wrong.

Claudius
Peter what happened to your ribs!

Simz breathes in and lowers his head, he then moves away from Claudius and continues to pack his clothes.

Simz
Nothing! My ribs are fine. I don't know what you are talking about.

Claudius
Look, Peter I'm not stupid. I know what I saw, a T-shirt can't hide it. What happened? How bad are they!

Simz sulks and shakes his head.

Simz
Three are broken, ok. They're fine!

Claudius
WHAT?! You have three broken ribs! How can you call that ok!

Simz
Look Claudius, just shut it ok! Like I said, I'm fine!

Simz takes a small pot of what looks like medication. Simz opens the cap and pours a few tables onto his hand and takes them.

Claudius
So you think thats going to change everything! Just take a few pills and all your problems are going to go way! I thought you knew better Peter!

Simz
Look you don't understand! I've been through a lot these past few weeks! I got beat by Reaper in the Match of my life! Then just a week later I went through a two out of three falls match. I went through all that then got put through a table to boot. I need to continue on! I'm sick of being branded as a loser! I hate it! Yet I keep losing! All I can do is continue on, and if a few pain killers is what I need. Thats what I've got to do!

Claudius
A few? You took at least a dozen there! You've got to stop this Peter. You have got to stop pushing yourself, it's not worth it. Your doing serious damage to your body! You've got Spackle tonight and his best bud and your opponent at Final Verdict is the Special Enforcer! The odds are already against you, yet with broken ribs. It's near impossible that you'll last even 5 minutes! You'll not survive until next week, forget Final Verdict. You've got to pull out of the match!

Simz
No! I'm competing tonight if you like it or not! I need to get back at those two for last week. Yes I have broken ribs and 17 stitches in the back of my head. It doesn't matter, I'm going to go out their and kick their sorry asses no matter what! I'm the Greatest One Man Show on Earth god damit.........and it's about time I started to act it!

Simz then storms out of the room, brushing past Claudius. He then exits the room by slamming the door. Claudius looks on, he then bows his head and starts to unpack. Mean while Simz walks down the corridor, but is stopped by Blitz backstage reported Kacey Garcia.

Kacey Garcia
Simz, Simz. Can I have a word!

Simz stops.

Simz
ok, whatever!

Kacey Garcia
Great! So about your match tonight..

Simz
What about it!

Kacey Garcia
What are your thoughts about your opponent tonight, Spackle?

Simz
My thoughts are that I'm ready to rip him to shreds. He put his nose in my business last week and this week it is time for him to pay. He had no right to hit me with a chair, so it's my turn to drive my fists into his face. Your nothing more than NIN's bitch Spackle, have you never thought about the fact that the only way your going to be remembered is nothing more than a glorified lackey! So it will be my honor to put you in your place by beating your ass 1,2,3!

And don't think I've forgotten about you Horror! I still owe you major payback you no good son of a bitch. You better start shining your little belt up good because Final Verdict, and your destruction isn't to far away!

Kacey Garcia
And just one final question, is it true that you have injured yourself working for other companies?

Simz stares a hole through Kacey as he grabs the mic off her.

Simz
I think you should mind your fucking business!

Simz throws the mic to the floor and walks off, out of the picture!

[KillerSundin (Formerly HBK)]

[glow=red,2,300]Chilly Willy's Promo[/glow]

"Man In The Box" hits the speakers and the crowd is already in a frenzy. The fans were booing as Chilly Willy stops near the ring. He raises the flag and waves it in the air. The fans boo even more. He slides in the ring and quickly grabs a mike. The song stops. He holds the mike to his mouth as he begins to talk with a cocky voice.

Chilly Willy- Tonight. I will go one on one with Ecos. Someone that holds a victory over me. Well congratulations. Enjoy it because you will never, ever hold that against me again. You come out here saying that I will tap just like Bret Fart? Fart? That is the best you can come up with you useless piece of shit. Are you a child? You seem like you haven't grown up since the age of ten. You have to degrade this company to that low because you are a man child. I also noticed that you had defaced Canada's flag. Instead, you put that ridiculous and unnecessary Ecosian symbol on it. How original. Like you haven't done that before. Try thinking of something else for a change instead of recycling old ideas like Vince McMahon. I mean you beat me, then go on to face Reaper which you end up choking because you have no clue how to win a big match situation. Well guess what? I do. I have beaten the very same man that kicked your ass for the International Title. I have beaten someone of importance. But when you come up to the plate. You choke faster than the Americans at Olympic Hockey. You have and never will make a name for yourself. It's very simple. God can't protect you. You claim to be the Holy One but in reality. You pretend to be a second rate, seedy priest who shows up to marry people in Vegas.

Chilly Willy pauses and looks at the crowd. They have been pretty quiet but you can still hear some chants like "Chilly Sucks" and "Die Chilly Die". He walks around the ring a bit as he feels through his hair. He holds the mike to his mouth again.

Chilly Willy- You know. Ecos has been a thorn in everyone's side lately and to be honest. It is fucking annoying. I think you said "No one is taking me serious!". How can someone take you seriously when you don't have proper grammar. Learn the language you attempt to speak! By the way. No one accepts you as their holy saviour because A: You can't win a title, and B: You are the biggest joke since Eugene. You cry and bitch because no one understands your point of view. Well I don't know about all of you but I know why. You can't win at anything. Not title matches, not people's respect. Nothing! You are a pathetic, repetitive and unfunny joke!

The crowd starts booing ruthlessly. Chilly Willy smiles at the crowd as they are giving him shit. He goes outside the ring. He picks up a black chair and slides it in the ring. After Chilly slides in the ring. He unfolds the chair and sits on it. He begins to speak once again.

Chilly Willy- Ecos! I am sick and tired of just talking about what will happen tonight. For once, you will either have to put up or shut up. Now that I am done with him. I have a special message for you. Every year you dominate the P2PW. Every year you do the same thing over and over again. Well familiarity breeds contempt and quite frankly. I am starting to get a little pissed off. Sole Survivor will be your last major win. Sole Survivor is your last big moment. Because after tonight. I will reclaim my spot. After tonight I will dethrone you once again for the International championship. For years I have been in the shadows of many superstars. But now. I am stepping out of that shadow. Now I will finally prove to everyone, that I will succeed in achieving my goal as the greatest wrestler to hold the International Title. No one, and I mean no one will stand in my way because if you do. Just like Ecos, you will drop dead faster than the British Bulldog.

Chilly Will stands up and drops the mike. He waves his flag around as the fans are still booing. He exits the ring and struts towards the curtain. He stops and turns around. He holds up his hand holding two fingers. He leaves as the camera fades to black.

[Spackle]

(The scene opens on the back of a brown haired head. The camera pulls out and a bare back is exposed, a single strand of fabric around the neck holding an unseen dress and it’s clear that the head belongs to a woman. The background is noisy and bright, a few people in suits walking in and out of the camera’s view on either side of the woman’s head. The camera pans around to the side of the table, and we can see that the attractive woman is sitting at a table inside a well lit, upscale restaurant. A man in a red vested monkey-suit is standing on the opposite side of the table, looking down at who is no doubt the most important man in the building: Spackle. Spackle is wearing a beige T-shirt that says “Steve Irwin: He really took animals to heart” He’s studying a menu very carefully, until the woman speaks.)

Woman: *In a British accent* Rusty, he just wants our drink order.

(Spackle speaks, but doesn’t break his gaze from the menu.)

Spackle: Yes, I also feel that women deserve more respect and equality in the workplace.

Woman: What?

(The waiter looks over Spackle’s shoulder.)

Waiter: *In a queer outlandish French accent* Zir, eef I may make a zuggesion, you may vant to remove ze poonographi material from ze menu.

(Spackle looks at the waiter, who seems to be inching closer to his face every second. Spackle pulls a “women with unnaturally deep holes” out of the menu, sets it on the table, and gives the menu to the waiter.)

Spackle: We’ll have the most expensive domesticated beer that rhymes with Schminess.

Waiter: Very good, zir.

(The waiter leaves, and Spackle continues reading his “women with unnaturally deep holes” . )

Spackle: *Without breaking his eye contact with the magazine* Yes, women truly do deserve better treatment at their respective workplaces.

Woman: …are you reading pornography on our date?

(Spackle throws the magazine off camera, and slams his fists down on the table. He then raises his right hand and points at the woman)

Spackle: WOMAN! DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE OFFICE?!?!

(Spackle takes a sip of water, and spits it at the woman’s face.)

Woman: What the fecks wrong with you?!

(The woman gets up and rushes off. Spackle takes another sip of water, but this time he swallows it. He then looks at the camera.)

Spackle: Okay, you can sit down now.

(The cameraman moves to the chair and sits down. Spackle is now in direct view of the camera.)

Spackle: I’m in a very good mood tonight. I get to tare an Irishman’s jugular out. Ya know, before you do it, it’s not something that seems incredibly appealing. But after the first, you just want to murder another, and another… in increasingly creative and grotesque ways. It’s like jolly ranchers.

(Spackle stares at nothing in particular on the table. He then looks at the camera.)

Spackle: The little shit hits me with a goddamn chair. I already got him back for that. Broke a few ribs, and, just between you and me, I managed to rip off his foreskin with a fish hook when the camera so conveniently shut off. But I’ve never really been set on getting even. Insignificant cunts get even. I take it farther, because, well, I’m FUCKING Spackle. When that limy little twat decided to touch me and my buddy with that chair, he practically decided to tag his foot and take a nap in a human sized filing cabinet. Like I said, getting even is an invalid’s goal. And to imply that… goddamn SIMZ… was ever at a level that could be considered “even” with me… hell, its like a tape worm wriggling out of Freddie Mercury’s cold, dead ass and challenging him to a yodeling contest.

(Spackle takes another sip of water and clears hi throat.)

Spackle: I hate giving it a name. It’s like talking about a little wooden puppet. Would you talk about a puppet as if he was some sort of threat to you, Mr. Cameraman?

(The camera shakes left and right.)

Spackle: That was rhetorical, you fucking monkey. The unrelenting truth of it is, is that… it hasn’t even won a match since… when? Back around that Rage title tournament during this retarded brand split’s conception? Hell, I’d say he’s a joke, but he isn’t even all that funny. Ninny and I have been pulling his strings since before Soul Survivor. The annoying fuck had no confidence in himself, and rightfully so, so he decides to appeal to forces so much higher then him it boggles his simple mick brain. And then the punk decides to get pissy when his betters can’t be bothered keep their end of the bargain. It’s too bad, really… I’m sure the little sheep made someone happy… his large, black pitcher perhaps. But now, like all the retarded, malformed sheep, he’s going to have to be euthanized. That’s a bad term for it, considering he’s going to feel a great deal of pain. I’m sure he’s watching this, and the only advice I can give him is to get that E2 looka-like to shoot one last round off into the depths of his colon, and then another into the base of his skull. It’s a poor-man’s ending, sure, but at least it’s a man’s ending, and that’s more then the overgrown leprechaun deserves.

(Spackle looks surprised for a second, then leans back in his chair, his arms behind his head.)

Spackle: Ooh…nice… All this is fairly trivial. The important thing is that my main NZA and I are completely reconciled. I went through a dark period there, the only constant in my life looked like he was committing some shady dealings, but it was all just his grand plan. He really is too smart for this place. But, that’s not saying too much.

(The waiter walks into the scene with two bottles of Guiness.)

Waiter: Here you are, zir. May I azk where ze Misses has gone?

Spackle: Don’t worry about it, she’s just having one of those “Bloody snatch” weekends.

(Spackle cringes)

Waiter: Oh, ho ho ho. Yez. Well, do you wish to order now?

Spackle: Just bring two orDEEERS… of lobster…

Waiter: Very good, zir.

(The waiter sets the two bottles down and leaves. Spackle downs one guiness in a few seconds, slams the bottle down, and looks at the bottle with a contorted face.)

Spackle: Ohh… UHHHH…

(Spackle breathes heavily, and then lays his head down on the table.)

Spackle: God… Dammit.

(The woman from earlier crawls out from underneath the table on Spackle’s side. Spackle lifts his smiling head, and loks down at her.)

Woman: Mubby nash meekens?

Spackle: ...what?

(The woman then spits what is presumably Spackle’s Sackle in his face.)

Woman: “Bloody Snatch Weekends?”

(Spackle grabs a napkin and wipes his face off. He then pushes the woman back under the table.)

Spackle: I hope you have some gum, ‘cause you ain’t getting any lobster after that.

(Spackle sits back up, and shoos the camera away. The cameraman gets up to leave, turning the camera off during the process.)

[Reaper]

I'm locking this...

ben

Chilly

Spackle

EDIT: I had to read the last 2 participants promos to judge... you don't like it... tough. I am in charge...where are my keys?