Post by brockandsable on May 17, 2006 22:30:51 GMT 1
If this fantasy card were to occur, how would you vote?....
P2PW Fantasia PPV
P2PW Heavyweight Championship
Red Ninja (c) v. RAGE CHAMPION "The Tiger" Aladdin
Blitz! Championship - Triple Threat
Soundscream (c) v. NIN Horror v. Stare
Interpromotional Match
Internet Champion E2 v. Fanatic Champion _the j-man
Interpromotional Match
Trent Acid v. ChadClassic
Blitz!International Title Bout
Soul Reaper (c) v. Spackle
Grudge Match
Simz v. Reece Somers
Shit Match
(meaning during the match you do take a shit)
JT Blade v. Chilly Willy
P2PW Heavyweight Championship
Red Ninja (c) v. RAGE CHAMPION "The Tiger" Aladdin
Blitz! Championship - Triple Threat
Soundscream (c) v. NIN Horror v. Stare
Interpromotional Match
Internet Champion E2 v. Fanatic Champion _the j-man
Interpromotional Match
Trent Acid v. ChadClassic
Blitz!International Title Bout
Soul Reaper (c) v. Spackle
Grudge Match
Simz v. Reece Somers
Shit Match
(meaning during the match you do take a shit)
JT Blade v. Chilly Willy
In memory of Josh.
The crowd is hot. Mariah's there. J-Lo's there. And Aston Kutcher is there, running from Demi Moore who's running from Bruce Willis who's running from Cybil Sheppard who's running from the clap. Fireworks go off - John McKay and Shinn's Theory are our commentators for the eve.
Match 1: Shit Match - J.T. Blade v. Chilly Willy
Chilly is introduced to a chorus of cheers. He steps into the ring ready for a fight. J.T. Blade is nowhere to be found. Cut to the back where JT's feet are seen beneath a toilet stall. Apparently, he's taking a shit during his Shit Match. Ref counts to ten, and that's the game.
Winner via count out: Chilly Willy!!!
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Cut to outside E2's dressing room. All we hear are slurping noises coming from in there.
Match Number 2: Simz v. Reece Somers
Both men take turns exchanging blows. Simz holds his stomach in pain and begins to worry as the bean burritoes he had earlier are starting to catch up. He lets out a HUGE fart which knocks Reece Somers out cold. He covers....1......2.......3 and that"s the game.
Winner via pinfall: Simz
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Cut to the back where the slurping sounds from E2's dressing room have become more rapid and more intense.
Match Number 3: International Title - Soul Reaper v. Spackle
Reaper is wearing a big red trucker cap and Spackle is naked. The two shake hands to begin, but the audience is laughing at Spackle's wee wee. Soul Reaper can't help but laugh either. Spackle begins to cry and runs away from the ring in embarrassment, his skinny white ass taking off down the aisle. Ref counts ten and that's a laugh.
Winner via count out: And STILL International Champion - Soul Reaper.
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Cut to the back where, we hear E2 let out a huge nut in his dressing room.
Match 4: Triple Threat Match for the Blitz! Heavyweight Title - Scream v. NIN v. Stare
Scream notices Carmen Electra in the audience and chases after her. She runs. He follows until her bodyguards catch up with him in the parking lot and beat the shit out of him. That leaves the King of Kings in the ring with NIN. It's one on one until about 40 KKK members dressed in white hoods come down the aisle. NIN isn't worried. He blows a whistle and about 300 Black Panthers emerge from under the ring.
Stare "Oh Shit!"
The Panthers beat down the clan. Shinn's slaps McKay. NIN pokes Stare in the eye and makes the cover.....1.........2........3!!!
Winner and New Blitz! Champion NIN Horror!!!
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Someone in the audience throws a T-shirt to NIN. He celebrates his win by putting it on. It has the letter B written on the front. Crowd cheers.
Cut to the back where E2 emerges from his dressing room with a huge smile on his face. He closes the door behind him.
Match 5: Interpromotional - E2 (Internet Champion) v. _the j-man (Fanatic "or rip off" Champion)
Staredown in the middle of the ring. E2 pulls some cocaine out of his pocket and J-Man is excited. He does six lines until his heart falls out of his chest.
Winner via death: E2, the real Internet Champion.
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]Cut to the back where we see Amie emerge from E2's dressing room, wiping her mouth.
Match 6: Interpromotional Match - Trent Acid v. ChadClassic
Chad is in tears laughing as he claim Trent looks just like the Hitman from an X-Box game. Trent gets mad and slaps the taste out of Chad's mouth. Chad's oversized braces cut the inside of his mouth and he's bleeding profusely. Trent grabs Chad and rubs his belly until he falls asleep. He makes the cover......1......2......3 and that's the match. However, Chad is still out, so Trent uses the opportunity and pisses in Chad's mouth.
Winner via pinfall.....Trent "Hitman" Acid.
Cut to the back where we see Rocky sneaking out of E2's dressing room, wiping his mouth.
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THE MAIN EVENT - P2PW Heavyweight Championship Match - Aladdin (RAGE) v. Red Ninja (WORLD)
Red Ninja is ready for a fight. So is Aladdin. They pose: Ninja takes a crane stance and Aladdin pulls a suitcase from under the ring. He then opens it and wears the clothing that was inside. It's a dashiki with a turban. He puts it on.
Aladdin: "Derka, derka, derka, shazha shazha shaza, derka, derka, derka, derka!"
Red Ninja: "AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"
Neenja can't take the laughter anymore, lays down and counts his own shoulders. He then grabs the World Title and hands it to Al, who is still dressed like Osama. Ninja then bends down and kisses Al's feets and then leaves the ring still laughing.
Winner and NEW P2PW Heavyweight Champion: "The Tiger" Aladdin
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Votes
JT Blade - 2; Chilly Willy - 4
Simz - 5; Reece Somers - 1
Soul Reaper - 4; Spackle - 2
Scream - 1; Stare -2; NIN Horror - 3
E2 - 4; _the j-man - 2
Trent Acid - 4; ChadClassic - 2
Aladdin - 5; Red Ninja - 1
Hope you enjoyed the show.