|
Post by Scream on Aug 31, 2006 22:14:02 GMT 1
Post jokes here bitches.....
LITTLE E2
Little E2 came home from school one day slightly confused.
His mother was Jewish and his father was black. So E2 asks, "Mommy, am I more Jewish or more black?"
"What does it really matter? If you want to know for sure you'll just have to ask your father," his mother tells him.
So, when his father arrived home from work, Little E2 asks the same question, "Daddy, am I more Jewish or more black?"
What the hell kind of a question is that? Why do you want to know if you're more Jewish or more black?" asks his dad.
"Well, it's like this dad... Tommy down the street wants to sell his bicycle for $50, and I don't know whether to Jew him down to $25, or wait until it's dark and steal the fuckin' thing."
|
|
|
Post by Cactus on Aug 31, 2006 23:36:50 GMT 1
I have a new job building bungalows for midgets. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .there is just one small flaw . . . . . . . . .
|
|
|
Post by brockandsable on Sept 1, 2006 15:14:55 GMT 1
This is good.
I'll post more when time permits. ;D
|
|
|
Post by Reaper on Sept 1, 2006 21:03:06 GMT 1
An average white guy is walking on the beach one day, and he stumbles upon a bottle with a cork in it. He uncorks it and out pop 2 Blonde Genie girls. And they look at the guy and give him the whole 3 wish thing, so the guy thinks and he's in a HUGE castle. Next thing he knows he's surrounded by beautiful women, and so being the man that he is, he does what is intended with the females. Soon theres a knock at his door, he takes his arm out from under one of the ladies he's been with and gets up and puts on his robe and slippers and walks to the door, stepping on and over his many $100 bills that are strewn on the floor. He answers the door and theres 2 KKK members there with a rope. They grab him and drag him out to a tree and hang him there until he dies. So the 2 Klansmen walk away a distance and they pull off the masks and its the 2 blonde Genies. One of them looks to the other and says....
"I can understand all the money, and I can understand all the women.....
But I wonder why he wanted to be hung like a black man?"
|
|
|
Post by Trent Matsunoshin on Sept 1, 2006 21:15:24 GMT 1
LMAO
|
|
|
Post by Your Morality Enforcer on Sept 1, 2006 21:30:56 GMT 1
A man once had a 50 inch penis. Despite what you may think, he was not happy with his size, because wherever he tried to use it, girls would flat-out refuse. In desperation, he turned to a doctor, hoping to get a reduction operation, but he could offer nothing, but point him in the direction of a nearby witch doctor. The witch doctor had an unorthodox solution to this problem:
"You must travel deep into the swamp, and find a toad with a small crown on its head. You must ask it to marry you, and it will say no, and when it does that, your penis will shrink ten inches exactly."
Not entirely believing it, but having no alternatives, the man journeyed into the swamp, and was shocked to find a toad matching the Witch Doctor's description. He said to it,
"Toad, will you marry me?"
And the toad replied:
"No!"
He felt something, and when he checked, he was delighted to find his penis had shrunk to forty inches. He hurridely tried it again.
"Toad, will you marry me?"
"No!" replied the toad, and once again his penis shrunk ten inches. The man decided that thirty inches was still too big, and decided to try it one more time.
"Toad, will you marry me?"
The toad replied, "How many times must I tell you? No, no and again, no!"
|
|
|
Post by KillerSundin (Formerly HBK) on Sept 2, 2006 4:14:47 GMT 1
A Middle Eastern, An American, and a Canadian are drinking in a bar. The Middle Eastern finishes his glass so he throws it up in the air, pulls out a pistol and shoots it. "We have so much sand in the middle east. We never drink with the same glass twice.". The American finishes. Throws up the glass, pulls out a pistol and shoots it. "We have so much money in Texas. We never drink with the same glass twice". Finally, the Canadian finishes. Throws the glass up, pulls out a pistol and shoots the American. "We have so many Americans in this country. We never drink with the same one twice"
|
|
|
Post by Stare on Sept 2, 2006 4:23:46 GMT 1
Hmmm . . . I bet that one is funny in Canada
|
|
|
Post by KillerSundin (Formerly HBK) on Sept 2, 2006 4:24:59 GMT 1
Yeah. It is actually pretty old. My dad told me that when I was eleven.
|
|
|
Post by Scream on Sept 3, 2006 2:24:28 GMT 1
Hmmm . . . I bet that one is funny in Canada Hahah, that was actually funnier than the joke!
|
|
|
Post by The Great JT on Sept 3, 2006 2:34:55 GMT 1
Ha, not bad Willy.
|
|
|
Post by Reaper on Sept 3, 2006 19:02:14 GMT 1
I officially name MY joke as the best one so far.....
|
|
|
Post by Stare on Sept 3, 2006 19:32:05 GMT 1
I have to agree
|
|
|
Post by Cactus on Sept 3, 2006 23:24:40 GMT 1
thats old thou
|
|
|
Post by Scream on Sept 4, 2006 3:14:22 GMT 1
What is the difference between a priest and a homosexual?
The way they say ahhhh-men.
|
|
|
Post by Keith Williams on Sept 4, 2006 3:22:20 GMT 1
^^What if its a catholic priest?
|
|
|
Post by Scream on Sept 4, 2006 3:32:22 GMT 1
Every year, Grandma and her grandkids, Suzy, Jill, and Billy come stay with her over Christmas. And every Christmas Eve they would make a big bowl of cookie dough so they could make cookies on Christmas Day. And every time, the next morning the cookie dough would be gone. The grandma could never catch them, so this year she put metal bb's in the cookie dough. The next morning, the cookie dough was gone and soon Suzy came running downstairs.
''Grandma, I went to the bathroom to pee and bb's came out.''
"Suzy," Grandma said. "I know you've been eating cookie dough. Sit down." Then Jill came down and said ''Grandma, I went poo and there were bb's in it.''
"Jill, I know you've been eating cookie dough. Sit down." About five minutes later little Billy came.
''Grandma something terrible has happened, I was jerking off in the garage and I shot the cat!''
|
|
|
Post by brockandsable on Sept 4, 2006 15:56:54 GMT 1
This last post is from the Postwhore Thread. I thought it deserved a look here.... . . . dude, you wouldnt miss me? I've been kicked in the nuts extremly hard. I've falling off a basketball rim and landed knee first on an extremely sharp rock. I've tried ot jump over a fence only to catch the bottom of my shoe on the top and land striaght on my head and neck. I've allowed a friend to hit me with a car for a Jackass spoof video in school . . . but that hurt, Trent . . . that REALLY hurt!!! Now allow me to swallow a few pink pills and officially run this next one into the ground: Hey Scream.....
|
|
|
Post by Stare on Sept 4, 2006 16:17:38 GMT 1
BWAHAHAHAHAHA!
I was getting so fucking tired of seeing that picture, but that was pretty damn funny
|
|
|
Post by brockandsable on Sept 4, 2006 17:57:53 GMT 1
|
|
|
Post by Stare on Sept 4, 2006 18:42:25 GMT 1
I've watched that through a total of about 15 times now, and I can't get enough. The bad thing is I've actually started to hum the song a couple of times
|
|
|
Post by brockandsable on Sept 4, 2006 19:10:09 GMT 1
Mila-hee!!! Mila-hoo!! Mila-ha, ha!! ;D
|
|
|
Post by KillerSundin (Formerly HBK) on Sept 9, 2006 2:37:20 GMT 1
Why was Helen Keller a bad driver?
|
|
|
Post by Cactus on Sept 10, 2006 15:43:53 GMT 1
dunno
|
|
|
Post by brockandsable on Sept 10, 2006 16:26:06 GMT 1
Want to shower with me now?
|
|