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Post by Aladdin on Nov 29, 2006 20:25:50 GMT 1
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!
If you're segments for TNT are anywhere near as good as this, the shows will fucking awesome.
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Post by brockandsable on Nov 29, 2006 20:48:06 GMT 1
I will be looking to incorporate my flame grilled material to the TNT shows. REPOST FROM PAGE 1: Stare's Right Face: "You know, sometimes that E2 fella can be a pretty damn good guy. He works hard, he keeps the board active, and he generally gets involved." Stare's Left Face: "What are you talking about? E2's a black. That automatically disqualifies him from being a good person!" Stare's Right Face: "Naw, naw, you've got it all wrong. E2 and Aladdin are two of the hardest workers P2PW has seen in a long time. Ever since----" Stare's Left Face: "Well Aladdin is brown, not black. So I tend to take it a little easier on him. But he's only a couple of shades away from niggerdom." Stare's Right Face: "You can't judge a man because of the color of his skin, his nation of origin, or his original creed." Stare's Left Face: "Of course you can, homo. And besides, I'm not juding any 'man'; I'm judging those filthy niggers." Aladdin: "What the hell?" Stare: "Oh, hi Al. How are things on your end today?" Aladdin: "Brown and hairy, as usual, Stare. Why are you talking to yourself?" Reaper: "This is all my fault, Aladdin. I knew this would happen sooner or later, but I was hoping that you wouldn't be in here to see it." Aladdin: "What the fuck are you talking about, Chris?" Reaper: "Well, you've been a Global Moderator for almost a full year now and it's time you know the truth that only I and Shinn's Theory know about. The reason that Stare comes off as such a hypocrite sometimes is because he has two faces: A right face and a left as you have discovered for yourself." Micko: "That's fuckin' hysterical, mate!" Reaper: "The right-faced Stare is a down-to-earth, lovable, huggable kind of guy. He works hard, he's kind to his fellow poster, and he's a human being. The left-faced Stare contradicts everything the other one does. When they become active at the same time, the two-faced, hypocritical mental case is exposed. Now the medicine seems to be wearing off, so things may get a little gooky in here." Stare: "Hey, how about a game of Word Association, fellas?" Reaper: "Uh, I think hear StarCrunch calling. I've got to go." *click*Aladdin: "We've got KFC on the table, yay! I'm out of here!" *click*Micko: *click*Stare: "Ah, you guys are no fun. Fine, I'll just play with myself. First word is...........P2P." Stare: "Shithole." Stare: "Soundscream." Stare: "Rabbi." Stare: "Hercules." Stare: "Jail time." Stare: "E2." Stare: "Nigger." Stare: "BAWHAWHAWHAW!!!!" ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
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Post by Scream on Nov 30, 2006 3:53:20 GMT 1
hahahaha
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Post by brockandsable on Nov 30, 2006 17:06:12 GMT 1
Reaper: “Okay, it’s pretty much common knowledge that the staff room conversations are accessible to the general board by way of E2 and his inability to mind his own business. We have to carefully watch what we say and may often resort to speaking in codes. I will tell you that I am currently seeing a shrink in Fresno that is helping me curb the use of the ‘N’ word. I am coming to the realization that ‘nigger’ is offensive to many. So I will do my best to refrain from the use of the word ‘nigger’ or using ‘nigger’ in constructive sentences. No more statements like ‘nigger with ketchup’, ‘nigger-me-this, Batman’, or ‘there was a man who had a dog and nigger was his name-o’; no more, none of that. Got it.”
Stare: “We still using niggerlips as the password?”
Reaper: Negative. Instead of ‘niggerlips’ we’ll go with ‘colored guy’. That seems to be more politically correct.
Micko: “That’s fuckin’ hysterical, mate.”
Aladdin: “There’s a reason why you called us in here, right? If there’s nothing important to talk about, let me go: My girlfriend supposed to give me a webcam performance and I got tubs of Vaseline, and everything.”
Reaper: “Well try to hold your jizz a little bit longer. As you know, it’s the end of the month and it’s time for the monthly board review. This is the only time of the month where we welcome all the mods into the staff room to discuss the direction of this shithole we call home. So welcome.”
Reece: “Hello, everybody.”
Cactus: “Hi, people.”
E2: “Yo.”
Soundscream: “Aw, man. We can’t say ‘niggerlips’ anymore?”
Reaper: “Now what I’d like each of us to do is, in a few sentences or less, give the board a grade and make any recommendations as to how we can improve. Aladdin and E2 are the darkest ones in here, so naturally they will go last.”
Stare: “Serves them right.”
Reaper: “We’ll start with the pastiest, whitest, ugliest motherfucker in here. Micko, you ready?”
Micko: “I was born ready, ya damn fool. And I ain’t ugly. I may wear a Mohawk on my head, and in pictures my head may seem a little too small since my body's so big, but I ain’t ugly, ya fuck!”
Reaper: “Just get on with it, man.”
Micko: “I think the board is fine, mate. I ain’t got no quarrel with anybody. I give the board an “A” ‘cause ya’ mean, peeps are comin’ back, mate. I saw McKenna log on the other day. And it makes me feel betta knowin’ that his porky ass is fatter than mine, ya fuck!”
E2: "Not to mention your shoulders sag in the front, crackah."
Reaper: “Okay, Micko gives the board a goddamn ‘A’ grade. And though personally I think you lost billions of brain cells, I’ll accept that. Reece, you’re white, so you go next.”
Reece: “All I would like to say is that this board needs some moral enforcement, especially in the POST A PICTURE thread. I can’t say that I agree with E2 and Aladdin post pictures of the whores they penetrate. The fact that they are engaging in premarital sex is appalling.
“And then there is this Ecos character who claims to be the Holy Savior of P2P. But have you taken a look at him lately? His hair is messed, his beard and moustache is crooked and he looks as if he hasn’t bathed in a decade. That’s evident by the shades of dirty molecules on his forehead and chin.
“And then Amie gave us some before and after pics. In the first series of pictures, she was slim, smiling and had long hair. In that last one, she looked like a dyke. E2 what the hell did you do to that girl to send her to the refrigerator as well as the Lesbians-R-Us membership club?
“And Lord knows there is more hideousness awaiting us. We have wet to see pictures of JT Blade, Keith Williams, JuncoJunky, or Trent Acid. Although I think I saw Trent in the Fast & Furious III: Tokyo Drifter, but I am not 100% certain. I imagine the other three are ugly as sin, but we’ll have to wait to find out. Keith's probably an ugly bastard. I imagine all the alcohol he consumes coupled with the fact that he's like 39, he probably has lines on his forehead and a wrinkled face.”
Stare: “Speaking of Keith Williams, he owns. Did you like what I did in the Blitz! thread the other day? Both Keith and E2 were making fun of me as a ‘quitter’; but I systematically singled-out E2 and gave him a warning for it. Was that clever, or what? Just E2, not Keith. Just E2. Because he’s colored.”
Stare: “It was brilliant. Pure genius.”
Stare: “I put that raccoon in his place.”
Stare: “You sure did.”
Reaper: “Uh, oh. The medication is wearing off, and this will not be pretty. We’ll just go on with the meeting as planned, try your best to ignore the resident hypocrite.”
Stare: "Tag. You're it."
Stare: "No, you're it."
Stare: "No, you're it."
Stare: "You're it, bitch!!"
Cactus: “I think I’m the next whitest so I will go next, mate. I think everything is fine. Only one problem I have, mate. I wish we could post pics of Stare sticking his dick in a tailpipe. Because Stare’s dick in a pipe is like throwing a hotdog down an alley cause it won’t touch the sides. B grade.”
Soundscream: “My problem is NIN Horror. I can’t beat him. He owns me with every post. And he’s prettier than me. I have a Jewish background. That means I hide all my money under my mattress and my wife’s legs are locked at the knees. Other than that, B grade is what I’m given.”
Reaper: “This is getting long and drawn out and is going nowhere. Aladdin and E2 have the darkest skin so we can just skip them and continue this tomorrow. Coloreds don’t deserve the same respect anyway. All right, everyone. Code word out: ”
Stare: "Colored guy."
Soundscream: "Colored guy."
Reece: "Colored guy."
Micko: "Colored guy."
Cactus: "Colored kid."
E2: "Man, fuck you!"
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Post by Your Morality Enforcer on Nov 30, 2006 18:19:47 GMT 1
Actually, that's roughly what I'm like in any staff room
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Post by Trent Matsunoshin on Dec 1, 2006 1:36:31 GMT 1
LMAO.
This brings a tear to my eye...
I'm now waiting for Stare and Reaper to jump up and say 'Seig Heil!'
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Post by Keith Williams on Dec 1, 2006 5:25:36 GMT 1
This is comedic gold E2. Keep up the good work. I can't wait till Reaper and Stare try to get E2 banned by planting items from the staff room on him, and claim that he came in when no one was around and stoled them.
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Post by Reaper on Dec 1, 2006 5:30:42 GMT 1
The sad thing is... E2's staff room discussions are about 100 times more active than the real one. Ah yeah, we're lazy fucks on this board.
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Post by brockandsable on Dec 2, 2006 19:27:30 GMT 1
Reaper: "Listen man, you know I'm here for you, and you know we've been good friends for a long, long time. But recent activity has got me a little worried about you. I mean, a few weeks ago you said you were done with Blitz!, and then you pulled a nigger on me and flip-flopped on your word. Next thing I know, you claimed that you would be more involved in the show, and then I saw that you didn't promo and you failed to lock the PPV thread on time. I had to do the job myself. Basically you made another promise and then betrayed your own word again. I'm worried about you, Stare. You say one thing and then you go and do the total opposite. Just like the niggers do."
Stare: "I wish for once, you would try to understand that I am extremely busy in real life these days. Don't you understand the pressures of living in such a booming, exciting state as Kentucky? I have to work around the clock in a 'music' store as the handyman/custodian. I'm nearing 22 and I am going nowhere fast and at times, it fucks me up. Nevermind that all my peers are in college and I sit here working a dead end job. Nevermind that the closest thing I've had to vaginal sex is a kiss on the cheek from a Latina girl. Nevermind that I swallow."
Reaper: "You see, I wasn't trying to go ther---"
Stare: "Nevermind that I have given nearly three years of my life to building an e-fed from scratch. A successful one at that. And all I get is wild flaming in return."
Aladdin: "Are you fucking kidding me? You deserve every ounce of disrespect coming to you."
Stare: "Hey, who let the colored guy in?"
Aladdin: "It's time someone told you to your fucking face how horrible a person you are. You go on and on about being "the king of kings" but all you really are is a destroyer. Shinn's Theory had his heart into this place. He helped you build the p2pw into what it is today. And then when it became obvious that he was more popular than you, that he was just flat out better, you started pushing for a brand split. Just because you couldn't have your way."
Stare: "Shinn's Theory was a nigger-lover."
Aladdin: "And then when you finally got your way, you still weren't happy. You had to further disgrace the guy by blowing the mistake he made WAAAYYY out of proportion. Then when Shinn's Theory left, you had to target E2, because the man just calls it like he sees it. All that literature you read about white power and the superiority of people of European decent has caused you to go mental."
Stare: "I didn't target E2 because he talks and talks and talks and just fucking talks. I targteted E2 because his skin is dark. Because he's a black boy."
Reaper: "If it makes anyone feel better, I fatten kids up with Little Debbie's on the weekend."
Aladdin: "And let's not get into the real reason _the j-man headed for the hills...."
Stare: "Listen to this guy and his assumptions? Are you going to come up with some conspiracy theory about how I am responsible for _the j-man leaving as well? You going to blame that on me too? Now one will believe you, Aladdin. You're not even white."
_the j-man: "They may not believe him, but I'll tell the people myself, muthafuckah!"
Reaper: "Well look what the fucking cat dragged in. Got any weed?"
_the j-man: "When I registered here nearly two years ago, I was promised a huge push by two-faced Stare. I outpromoed everyone that was thrown my way. I beat everybody for months on end. Did I get a World Title shot? Fuck no. You know why right?
Reaper: "Don't say because 'you're a black man', cause that's the biggest load of shit anyone's ever heard."
_the j-man: "Instead of a World Title shot, Stare created another Internet Title for the B-show, and threw that around my waist. SoL saw that Stare was full of it, so he left this bullshit. Stare's so fucking stupid, that he cannot even come up with his own original concept for a title belt!"
Aladdin: "Preach on, bruthaman!"
_the j-man: "Basically Al and Reaper are being nice, they are not telling you how they really feel. That you are an indecisive piece of shit!"
Stare: "Nik, have you been harboring this shit inside you all along?"
_the j-man: "Shut the fuck up, I ain't finished yet, pussy. You speak when I tell you to speak; you leave when I tell you to leave; and you shit when I say you can shit; you got that?!"
Stare: "Yes, sir."
_the j-man: "Now where was I, I seem to have forgotten...."
Aladdin: "You were rambling on about how big a piece of shit Stare is....."
_the j-man: "Oh yeah. My bad. So I took the Fanatic Title and ran with it. Beating everyone in my path, one after the other. But the biggest insult to me was leaving me off the Sole Survivor card intentionally. It was only after E2 flapped his niggerlips endlessly---"
Reaper: "--You can't say that."
_the j-man: "--flapped those big balloon-sized-lips endlessly about it, that Stare removed himself and put me on the card. I felt disrespected that I was overlooked in the first place. And the biggest insult to injury occurred. After Stare tricked Aladdin into giving TNT to me instead of E2, Stare tried to control my every move, much like he tries to control Aladdin now. This dickhead is so consumed with jealousy and hate for Aladdin and E2, that when he saw that TNT was producing the better product, and that E2 had the ability to get Shinn's Theory to participate, he tried to sabatoge TNT by quitting on Blitz. He knew that one could not proceed without the other. His intentions were well thought-out diabolical. Truth be told, Stare is just fucking evil like that. He kept it well hidden for the longest time, but it's all being uncovered one day at a time. Truth be told: Stare's a shithead."
Aladdin: "Wow. That's what I've always wanted to say, but I just never had the nerve to say it for fear of losing my position as a mod."
_the j-man: "Well, the people wanted the truth, and there it is.Now I'm out." *click*
Reaper: "Hey, man don't feel that bad. I fatten people up with Little Debbie's everyday. I also pick peanuts from the fields of Fresno, so you're not the only loser with a dead end job."
Stare: "Jeez, I don't know what to say. I didn't know I was offending people so badly."
Aladdin: "Just say you're an indecisive asshole and we may forgive you."
Stare: "Okay. I'm an indecisive asshole."
Aladdin: "No, that's not good enough. Say you're a big fat, clap-infested pussy, with lots of hair on it."
Stare: "I'm a big fat, clap-infested pussy, with lots of hair on it."
Aladdin: "I'm still not satisfied. Say you're the biggest bitch to ever grace the board known as p2p. Say it. Say it now!"
Reaper: "Little Debbies are the shit!"
Stare: "Okay, all right, you win. I am an indesisive asshole who resembles a big, fat, clap-infested pussy and on top of that, I am THE biggest bitch to ever grace the message board known as p2p. Happy now?"
Aladdin: "You forgot to say 'with hair on it'."
Stare: "With hair on it."
Micko: "That's fucking hysterical!"
Stare: "Does that statisfy everyone?"
Aladdin: *click*
Reaper: *click*
Micko *click*
Stare: "Ah, forget it. No one likes me. I must be the world's biggest loser."
Stare: "I like you."
Stare: "Who are you?"
Stare: "I'm the world's biggest dickhead. But you can call me Jacob."
Stare: "Hi Jacob."
Stare: "Hello."
Stare: "What's your favorite tv show?"
Stare: "The footage of Rodney King getting beat the fuck up."
Stare: "What's your favorite food?"
Stare: "Fried chicken with a slice of watermelon."
Stare: "Favorite color?"
Stare: "Nigger."
Stare: "BAWHAWHAW!!!"
*any character resemblance to people in real life is purely, purely coincidental.*
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Post by Trent Matsunoshin on Dec 3, 2006 0:01:26 GMT 1
LOL @ The Rodney King reference.
This is great.
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Post by Reaper on Dec 3, 2006 4:51:01 GMT 1
_the j-man outpromoed EVERYBODY.... except me. That was Almost 100% accurate.
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Post by Aladdin on Dec 3, 2006 15:19:21 GMT 1
Everybody on Blitz apart from Reaper? Yeah. Everybody on TNT? Hell no.
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Post by Reaper on Dec 3, 2006 15:42:44 GMT 1
But you could bet that he would have... minor leaguer.
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Post by Aladdin on Dec 3, 2006 15:51:20 GMT 1
Hell no. Don't forget, you beat me only because of Stare.
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Post by Reaper on Dec 3, 2006 15:56:39 GMT 1
Operative word junior... you didn't come out on top and by the way, this may seem very E2 of me, but
Soul Reaper - 4.8 "The Tiger" Aladdin - 4.77
Good job, Rage Champion.
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Post by Your Morality Enforcer on Dec 3, 2006 16:01:15 GMT 1
Reece Somers - 4.8 promo Soul Reaper - 4.8 promo
Hmmmm...
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Post by Reaper on Dec 3, 2006 16:06:27 GMT 1
And yet you were still out A LONG TIME before Al. Further Proving how sad the TNT side is. Wasted talent says I.
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Post by Aladdin on Dec 3, 2006 16:21:12 GMT 1
It was a bad day. Damn rating team took away points because i wrote a lot, you know because i actually had stuff of substance to say. I actually mentioned things that meant something, instead of saying made up shit, which pretty much everyone else did.
But it's all good. I'll just have to beat you one on one.
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Post by brockandsable on Dec 3, 2006 19:55:39 GMT 1
^And that you will.
Let's see, 9 out of 10 promoed for the TNT PPV, yet only a handful of Blitz! people showed up and scribbled some shit; and that last one was a glorified office memo.
Yeah, I, and anyone who isn't as blind as Hellen Keller, can see the writing on the wall.
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Post by Cactus on Dec 3, 2006 21:23:43 GMT 1
who's helen keller ?
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Post by brockandsable on Dec 3, 2006 21:27:14 GMT 1
A blind girl who couldn't see the writing on the wall.
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Post by Trent Matsunoshin on Dec 4, 2006 2:24:36 GMT 1
She was a DEE-DEE-DEE!
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Post by Cactus on Dec 4, 2006 8:52:21 GMT 1
WTF is a DEE DEE DEE ? ?
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Post by Trent Matsunoshin on Dec 4, 2006 13:13:24 GMT 1
A DEE-DEE-DEE is just another term for retard.
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Post by brockandsable on Dec 4, 2006 15:27:07 GMT 1
Or another term for a blind girl who couldn't read the writing on the wall.
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