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Post by Gormy on Jul 7, 2004 22:32:31 GMT 1
I have a friend who works as on the phones in our internet dept. He is the technical support guy you call when your internet or PC doesn't work properly. He told me about a customer he had once.
He told the customer to close all the windows on his PC. The customer promptly put the phone down and..........you guessed it, closed all the windows in his house!!!!
If you have any good ones..and I'm sure UKG, MIcko and Nation will have a few, then post em here
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Post by McKenna on Jul 7, 2004 22:36:09 GMT 1
Me : good afternoon.........
tool : my phone doesnt work
Me: are you calling from a mobile?
tool : no, im calling from my house phone
me : Can you recieve calls?
tool : Yeah, I had a call 10 mins ago
me : so the problem is........
tool : fuck it im going back to BT
Priceless, totally fucking priceless
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Post by frozenfoodmaster on Jul 8, 2004 20:00:06 GMT 1
My girlfriend's boss is a bit computer-illiterate. So she tried to hold his hand and walk him through the basic internet connection. When they reached the start up page, she told him to "Use the mouse on the screen and click on the Safari link." Bernie then picks up his mouse off the mousepad, puts it against the monitor and begins to click. Everyone was on the floor in tears.....
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Post by Gormy on Jul 8, 2004 20:03:42 GMT 1
I've had a woman on who has taped a program from her cable box onto her VCR. However during the program there was a problem and her picture went off leaving her with an error message box. In that box is an option to close by pressing the OK button.
The lady has spent the last half hour pressing the OK button thinking it will get rid of it, even though it was taped this afternoon!!!!
Her TV is ok now, just in case you were wondering!
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Post by frozenfoodmaster on Jul 8, 2004 20:49:32 GMT 1
When we went to see Spider-man 2 last week, this couple actually brought their crying toddler to the primetime showing, to everyone's disappointment. This baby cried throughout the entire film. The audience was patient for about the first forty minutes until people in the back started yelling "Shut the f*ck up!"
Finally, people decided they had enough and began leaving, presumably to get refunds or a rain check on the movie. The mother of the child, seeing people leave by the dozens, mutters out, "I don't think the movie's that bad!"
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Post by McKenna on Jul 11, 2004 19:56:41 GMT 1
Tool : my phone line isnt working
Me: Okay, I'll check for any problems in the area
Tool : It hasnt been working for months
Me : Why didnt you report it sooner?
Tool : Well, I thought you'd know about it
Me : We dont know there is a problem till you tell us you have a problem
Tool : What can of service do you provide?
Me : A working serivce, unless you tell us otherwise
Tool : I want compensation
What the Fuck!!!!!!!!!
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Post by Gormy on Jul 13, 2004 22:28:55 GMT 1
This isn't particularly stupid, but I still think it deserves a mention.
A customer called up tonight. He had ordered porn for the evening and was settled down with pam and her five sisters and a box of kleenex. His cat walked over the remote changing the channel and now it wont change back!!!!!!!!!
How I laughed for hours!
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Post by McKenna on Jul 14, 2004 14:37:51 GMT 1
we have had a huge regional problem in birmingham today.
There is a message on the phone to advise customers of this.
Ordinarily, most people would put the phone down at this point, but no, not our customers.
They hang on the line, and when we tell them of this problem, their response is
" I heard that message, and it said of a problem in Birmingham, now I'm in Birmingham, but I didnt think it would apply to me!!!"
Fucking Morons
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Post by stocko on Jul 14, 2004 14:44:56 GMT 1
i have just read ukg's post and i thought it said religion, but of course it said regional!
i am a bit stupid today!
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Post by Nation on Jul 16, 2004 11:41:28 GMT 1
try everyday dude! ;D
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Post by Cactus on Jul 16, 2004 21:03:22 GMT 1
Mick,UKG,Nation,Gormy
Once when I was workin on the out of hours shift and I was the only tm in I was monitoring the BBI ( pc - support lads )
Advisor - right click on this icon
Tool - ok
Advisor - right click on this icon
Tool - ok
Advisor - is it working now ?
Tool - no
Advisor - You need a tech
Tool - ok, how do i get the pen of my screen
You guessed it he was Writing click on his fuckin pc screen
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Post by Gormy on Jul 16, 2004 21:30:56 GMT 1
that cant be true!!!
hang on, knowing our customers, yes it is true!!
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Post by McKenna on Jul 17, 2004 17:00:17 GMT 1
Me : Can you turn your cable box back on?
Tool : There is no picture
Me : Is the TV on?
Tool : oh no, ive turned that off as well
Me : okay switch the TV on now, what picture have you got?
Tool : BBC News 24
Me : I cant hear anything, is the TV on?
Tool : No
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Post by Gormy on Jul 17, 2004 17:36:20 GMT 1
Press the wrap button at that point!
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Post by stocko on Jul 17, 2004 20:10:26 GMT 1
me: you need to change your batteries in your remote
tool: uh huh
me: so just buy new batteries
tool: ok, whats the problem
me: you need new batteries
tool: since when
me: since the other ones ran out
tool: uh huh
me: so jusy buy some new ones
tool: uh huh
at this point i just hung up, what a fucking moron!
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Post by Cactus on Jul 17, 2004 20:20:36 GMT 1
that cant be true!!! hang on, knowing our customers, yes it is true!! Ask patrick I'anson, as the call was taped and he kept it ! ! !
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Post by McKenna on Jul 18, 2004 13:49:40 GMT 1
me : can i take you name please
tool : you dont need that, just tell me how to unlock my call barring
me : i cant without account details
tool : you what
me ; hang up
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Post by stocko on Jul 18, 2004 15:35:32 GMT 1
some woman has just called the fault line that i work on and asked one of my mates what the golf commentator meant when he said "bogey putt"
crazy people!
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Post by Gormy on Jul 18, 2004 15:45:52 GMT 1
What I want to know is, how long did she wait in the queue before her call was answered!
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Post by Cactus on Jul 18, 2004 16:32:52 GMT 1
Knowin our subs about 20 mins
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Post by Gormy on Jul 24, 2004 9:39:56 GMT 1
Two from last night.
The first one was a woman called in complaining that the show she was watching was one that had been on a few weeks ago.....and she wanted me to do what exactly?
The other is the best quote from the night. This award goes to my friend who said to a customer having problems trying to order porn (yes, because I work at night, this is the class of customer we get).
My friend sorted out his PIN number for him then promptly asked him if it was up yet? She meant the channel, not his dick...She said it to wind him up cos he was an idiot, but he still didnt get it...Obviously a deaf idiot!! I couldnt breathe and had to put my customer on hold while I stopped laughing
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Post by stocko on Jul 24, 2004 12:15:40 GMT 1
quality! ;D
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Post by McKenna on Jul 24, 2004 12:25:12 GMT 1
On three occasions today a guy has come through with a problem with his television
he is now speaking to a manager coz he doesnt believe that his tele is at fault
his volume level is so high, when i took a call from him, my ears bled
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Post by stocko on Jul 26, 2004 11:11:48 GMT 1
what a joy it is to work for telewest!
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Post by Cactus on Jul 28, 2004 17:26:19 GMT 1
Just cleared a CCCS for a sub who was kickin off because he could not provision his tv email. . . . . . .he has 3 analogue boxes
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